sweet misery..

so far i've been rotting my days away..though i did sum thinkin...but nt much...
i continued drawing an abstract art that i stopped a yr ago today...glad i haven
lose my touch on drawing abstract...love the feeling of drawing without thinkin..
n the outcome is juz interesting...

sum things r better left unsaid...but saying them out feels gd.

i juz finish watchin full house. nice..but ending abit dissapointing...oh wells...
gonna slp soon...need to wake up early... =)

sum interesting pics i took with my 4 lens camera to end this entry...enjoy!

calvin with my cotton candy...(taken quite sum time back)

taken by cal...me at the esplanade...

the wooden figurine havin suicide tots..

life's good

sch is nt starting on tues. no no no...13 weeks more of schless days. everybody noe i
cant take it no more. moreover, i need really alot of discipline to start doin my
FYP now now now...i really need think of wad i wanna do..i need to start sketching,
doddling with photoshop n freehand...mayb even play with camera. i really duno
wad i wanna do now. sigh...i need to go see a lecturer to discuss once i get ideas running..
think mildred think!

ppl! can call me to meet me for lunch if u wan anytime during these 13 weeks ok...
tues - fri..book me anyday. hahahha

tot of doin a book on abstract art...will be an interactive book. but...i stil duno yet.
am i crazy to do a book AGAIN!? sigh...shall think abt it...

update u guys again...

lifes been....so far so gd.... =)

keep that smile on ur face.

im down with a sore throat. sucks. it really hurts. causing me to be really grumpy.
i changed my blog's background...like after so damn long...gimmie ur comments okie?

im too grumpy to say more now. so im signing off here. tatas

to those who r unhappy: keep that lovely smile on ur face. coz u'll nv noe whos
missing that smile. =)

this is sucky..........

ok let me WHINE. i hate my time table. hate it hate it
firstly, start sch only on week 14. SUCKS.
secondly, tues to fri 9am to 1pm. *faints*
sucky SUCKY. but heck im gonna start pushin myself to
start my FYP frm week 1. heck the stupid dumb new system.
ARGH....
this is gonna SUCK more. teng hong juz told me that i could hav grad.
if only i wasnt late. i gt a passing grade! SHIT. ARGH.
wadeva. but he said its probably juz a D. hahaha.
lets juz say i shall aim for a B or C this time.

his little angel

my day started kinda unhappy...really unhappy. dun wanna tok much abt it here.
one day ONE DAY...i really can sue him for child abuse.

anyway, went over to aunt's hse for lunch n juz rot there. was so tired though i
wake up at 12. i fell aslp reading reader's digest. so i decided might as well juz slp.
so yeah. slpt there. woke up had little snacks with aunt n two old church members,
then i head home coz it was already 5. was suppose meet dan at 530 at jurong east.
luckily, he finish work late. heee. i went home, put down dad's dinner n my stuffs.
get changed n left the hse. was really late. yeah.

met grace at jurong east platform to collect my proj frm her n play with pearlie the
chihuahua who was in her bag for awhile. haa then rushed down to meet dan. took
the shuttle bus to IMM. went daiso n took alot of pics. haha. we had fun. sumtimes i
wish i nv had to go home. heh.

click the collage below for the whole album of pics.

devilrobots

i love the tofus collection! bet those who noe me well wld have realised
that i collect them hee...play with the tong tongs. haha. its the third
series now. damn i wan more. haa.

anyway, heres their website.
ll DEVILROBOTS ll

the word 'wadeva'

three stupid blisters on my feet juz coz of a stupid slippers. THANK U SLIPPERS.
U HAVE BEEN REALLY KIND TO ME. *screams*
now now now...how i bathe? PAIN! shit ass. wadeva.

yes wadeva wadeva.....WADEVA. haven said this word for ages. three yrs i think...
stil sound attitude problem. but heck. sumtimes its the best answer when i dun
have anything to say anymore. sigh...

i dun wanna be an ass. i dun wanna whine. i dun wanna cry. i dun wanna complain.
i dun i dun i dun...but y am i cryin when i hear it? y am i feelin sad? i really wish it
din matter to me.

mayb its juz me. im an ass. take it as im a crappy gf.
stab me in my heart n leave me to die.

Jason Mraz - Geek In The Pink
Yo, Brotha A to z,
Yo, wussup B,
Yo, What time is it?

Ha-ha, It's laundry day!

(do do do...)

Well let the geek in the pink take a stab at it
If you like the way I'm thinkin' baby wink at it
I may be skinny at times but I'm fat fulla rhymes
Pass me the mic and I'm a grab at it
well Isn't it delicious crazy way that I'm kissin'
This baby listen to this don't wanna miss it while it's hittin'
Sometimes you gotta fit in to get in But
don't ever quit cause soon I'm gonna let you in but see

I don't care what you might think about me
You'll get by without me if you want
Well,I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forget'n what you already know
I could be the one to turn you out
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away like the geek in the pink(do do do...)

i'm the geek in the pink, yeah
i'm the geek in the pink (do do do...)

Well my relationship fodder don't mean to bother nobody
But Cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots at her
Because she fall in love too often that's what the matter
At least I'm talkin' about it keep my pattern of flattery and
She was starin' through the doorframe,and
Eyein' me down like already a bad boyfriend
Well she can get her toys outta the drawer then
Cause I ain't comin' home I don't need that attention, see

I don't care what she might think about me
She'll get by without me if she wants
Well, I could be the one to take her home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forget'n what you already know
That I could be the one to turn you out
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away...

Hey baby look at me go
From zero to hero
You better take it from a geek like me
Well I can save you from unoriginal dumb-dumbs
Who wouldn't care if you com...plete him or not

So what I've got a short attention span
A coke in my hand
Because I'd rather have the afternoon, relaxin' understand
My hip hop and flip-flops well it don't stop with the light rock
My shot to mock you kinda puts me in the tight spot
The hype is nothing more than hoo-ha so
I'm Developing a language and I'm callin' it my own
So take a peek into the speaker and you'll see what I mean
That on the other side the grass is greener

I don't care what you might think about me
You'll get by without me if you want
I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be the let down
But sugar don't forgetin' what you already know
I could be the one to turn you out
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away like the geek in the pink(do do do...)
well i'm the geek in the pink yeah(do do do...)
geek is the color for fall
i'm the geek in the pink(do do do...)
so i'm the geek yo
in the pink yeah (do do do...)
geek is the color for fall
im the geek in the pink

happy easter day!

im lazy to blog. so let pics do the talking...
good friday link 1
good friday link 2
happy easter!

i've finally finished watching stairway to heaven. n omg. its sad!
now now now... im gonna start on my next show - FULL HOUSE.

lastly, happy easter day to all. hope u had lotsa eggs to eat!
haha. i had my share of two hard boiled eggs. lol

6am

6am. wad were u doin?
wad time did u wake up today? were u awake?
were u stil dreaming?

i was awake. i was snacking.
i was watching 'stairway to heaven'.
nice n heartwretching korean drama.

wad the hell is HOME

im angry. indeed i am. im seriously tired. tired of this life of living without
freedom. im tired of being down their Freaking control. isnt it enough that im
always home? isnt it enough that i only go out on weekends? isnt it enough
that i try my best to do things that wun waste too much of YOUR money?
wad more do u wan frm me? cant i have my own LIFE!???!

im pissed. i hate u. i hate my life.
i noe. i noe i should show u RESPECT. but sumtimes i wonder, y should i when
i dun get respect frm u? y should i respect sumone who duno her limits?
y should i respect sumone who duno how to respect others? i dun wish to say
juz respecting me. but she dun even noe how to respect others. simple respect
of nt lookin at ppl's wallet without asking. SHE DOESNT NOE! does she deserve
MY respect?

i wish i was rebellious. i wanna get out, OUT of this life i have. sumtimes i need
space to do things i wish to do. sumtimes i need a life that i can really say its mine.
but i cant. everything i do, everything i say, how i behave, its all coz of YOU!
im so self conscious coz of ur endless words of DISCOURAGEMENT.
im so judgemental coz YOU judge ppl.
sumtimes i dun like sharing wad i hav with josh coz YOU dun share things with me.
you deem wad u buy IS YOURS. u say wad i hav u can take. but when i take sth frm u?
wad DO I GET? YOU can go m'sia with YOUR frens. CAN I? NO!
dun say travel. juz stayin AT FREAKIN SENTOSA oso CANT!
i dun believe when u were younger u nv stayed at any chalet. I WUN BELIEVE U!
have i stayed before? yea sure. with FAMILY! wad fuckin fun is that? when can i do sth
i wan without YOU ard?!

borrowed vcds frm ms veena. obviously is to watch right? n wad time do i hav to watch in
the afternoon? i watch dad say i nv help at home. so i watch at night. i watch with my com.
wads WRONG WITH THAT! if i dun watch i borrow for wad? n u can ask me: "u dun wanna
watch then return to ppl la." since when i DUN wanna watch? i watch at night u scold. watch
in the day oso scold. WAD U WAN!!????? ARRGH!

YES! I HATE THIS HOME. coz it nv felt like one. it nv did. 20 yrs. IT NEVER DID!

wheres the biggest star in the sky.

i miss u. miss u n miss u more.
i hate home. hate home n hate home more.

im praying that permission will be granted to stay over at sentosa this fri.
sigh. im PRAYIN hard. i need a tan. i wanna lie down at night n stare up into
the sky. watching the stars wink at me.

im in pain now. y the hell am i havin gastric pain now!? at this stupid hr.
i feel my stomach growl. i feel the pain. im gonna cry soon man. almost
unbearable. AHHH! i wish...i wish...i wish i could hear ur comforting voice.
where r u?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
happy birthday josh!
its my precious bro's birthday today. and oso my aunt's. hmm. gonna go to his sch
to take photos of his class n oso him giving the presents to his frens. kinda
hate doin such things alone. but no choice.
duno wads the plan to celebrate tonight. im hungry now. gonna find FOOD.

i gt bored after u slpt

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	5.2
Mind:	4.8
Body:	7.5
Spirit:	5.4
Friends/Family:	3.8
Love:	6.9
Finance:	3.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
name five of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick five people to do the same. try to be original and creative and not use things that someone else has already used:

• hugging a cold bolster to slp.
  
• listen to an ice crack when dropped into hot milo.
  
• listening to the heartbeat of sumone i love.
  
• walking barefoot on fine sand.
  
• cereal n yogurt. =)

five people: dan, cal, sarah, tracy, may
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------





gd ness. this shows how much i look like a korean. haha. but
at least they r all pretty. =)

all smiles no frowns

jars of clay - the eleventh hour

[verse]
Trace the shape of my heart
Till it becomes more familiar
To your eyes
I've been lost without you
Cold without your love
It's taken days and nights
To make me realize

[chorus]
Rescue me from hanging on this line
I won't give up on giving you
The chance to blow my mind
Let the eleventh hour quickly
Pass me by
I'll find you when I think I'm out of time

[verse]
Take the place of my heart
Till I become a stranger to my life
I've been down without you
Wrong without your love
In time will I be what You're thinking of

[chorus]
Out of time

[bridge]
I've been down without you
Cold without your love
In time will I be what
You're thinking of

[chorus 2x]
Time...time...time

i've been listening to the jars of clay CD dan gave me. i love the songs.
the eleventh hour is one of my favourite. =)

anyway today i woke up late so din go pedicure. bought a box of encore colour
lens near my place then i hung ard orchard while waiting for kay to finish her
pedi n mani. i figured the best place to spend long hrs is borders. so yeah i
went there to read mags. then head to forum to meet her after an hr? yeah abt
there la. headed for lunch at genki sushi. then shopping for bro's present. sigh.
i stil duno wad to get him. but i figured i dun need give him tmr. haaa. perhaps
i'll make him sth. hmmm...after kay left, i went to meet hong, ning n mike. saw
ethan playin outside paragon. heh. hes stil as gd! im proud of this little boy.
but hes damn proud la. heh. oh well. he can be proud i guess. anyway the gals
went shopping crazy. n i think mike muz be bored. oh well. i seriously hate it
when i go out with guys n they juz stand outside while we see things. ARGH. its
irritating. if u say its gals clothes or lingerie, FINE. but its WALLET SHOP!?
nvm. i left to meet dan at taka after that. then walked to far east 7eleven
where we meet one of his fren n i buy my sweet to satisy my sweet tooth. lol.
walked ard far east n lucky enough, though i tried to avoid seeing the gals n mike.
i stil did met them in the end. wadeva. sorry mike. i guess he muz be depressed
knowing i left to meet dan. but wadeva. i juz pity hong to listen him whine. hahaha
time spend with dan r the most precious. sumtimes i wish time stops there. i dun
really care who else was with us. with him there, im sure theres joy. =)

i love my big eyes. lol. gd nite all. time to slp.
lastly, cal! im so happy for u. hehe. *big smile*

im missing u gals n guys

i miss the memories i had in sch with my frens frm yr 1 till now. i miss many gals
im so close to. the guys i loved hanging out with.

may, i miss those times we do work together. i miss stayin up with u. i miss being there
for u. i miss goin pasta mania after sch with u. i miss doin so many things with u.
u'll always be my best dearie for life. i love u!

sinyi, its been so long since we met. im so glad that u're so involved in crusade now.
i was the one who brought u there but in the end i was the one who drifted away. haa.
oh well. we stay so near but we haven met since u left tp. HOW CAN?! lets meet up soon
n catch up okies? i miss stayin sch till late with u n goin home with u. journey to sch
n back is so boring without u. sobz.

hilmi!! my dearest bro! a guy that has been there for me all the time. who nv fails to
pretend nt to see me n say hi n bye after that. haha. i'll still see u in sch n do our final yr proj
together! haa. we shall meet for lunch. we better take photos together before we really
grad. haa. all the best n do well for ur FYP okies? i love u! hee. u're been a joy to be ard with.

dian ah dian. u r funny la. i wun say i noe u VERY well. but well enough that i can guess
ur personalities right? haaa. im clever. thank u. haa. wads sch without u n hilmi. haa.
now that u've grad. army soon. take care ok. call me to tok when u in tekong ah. rem!
i'll meet u every weekend ok? since u say ppl attached sure meet gf, they gt life. haa.
u meet me. u gt life oso. hahaha. will miss u. =)

grace, my bitch. haa. my late night date too. haha. i will miss tokin to u in class la.
bitching abt ppl n tokin abt how lame design sch can be. haa. grumbling abt how boring
sum lecturers r. taking lame pics together. i miss ur presence in class. but i noe u will
always be online to help me. right? hahaha. love u bitch. hee

i duno y im stil awake at this time writing this when everyone's aslp. i should be slping.
haha. oh well. im quite awake. n i gonna wake up at 9. clever. dan, knock me out pls.
haaa. pedicure later at 11 with kay n shopping for sth for my bro. then meeting hong
n mike for a while. then off to meet dan. hee. exciting day. yippies! im stil eating
dried mango, raisin shortcake n peanut candies at this time. wad the heck.
gonna hit the sack now. long day later. gd nite all. muackz.

dan's bestie is so sweet lor. AWWW. *hint hint* hahaha. ok. i need slp. im high.

vsc yr 06 grad book on sale!

Five Songs Which You Know All The Lyrics Right Off Your Head Now
1. i'll be - edwin mccain
2. wordplay - jason mraz
3. just breathe (2am) - Anna Nalick
4. ugly - sugar babes
5. you n me - lifehouse

Five Things You Would Do If You Were A Millionaire
1. travel ard the world
2. get my driving licence
3. n of coz buy myself a vintage volkswagen beetle
4. save some for my bro's education
5. give money to my parents, cousin n fenyi

Five Bad Habits
1. Sleeping early in the mornin
2. eating at 3am
3. waking up at 1pm
4. procrastinate
5. laze ard

Five Things You Like Doing
1. chilling with good company
2. watching ballet performance
3. travelling
4. watching movie
5. going on dates at weird places.

Five Things You Will Never Wear, Buy Or Get New Again
1. discman without antishock
2. ...
3. ....
4. .....
5. ......nth.

Five Favourite Toys/Things
1. my sunglasses
2. my hp
3. my minnie mouse chain necklace
4. all the stuff toys on my bed
5. cal's mp3 player. but its spoilt. argh

You're IT! (Five People To Do This)
1. cal
2. chelle
3. tracy
4. sarah
5. maymay

im finally done with this. im SLPY now. thanks.

this aint my own life

*boom boom boom. i seriously can start playin drums on my tummy now. argh.
its damn uncomfortable. though i put oilment n rubbed n drank lotsa WARM
water, its stil nt helping. sobz. damn sad. i feel bloated n the urge to puke all
my food out.

anyway, been kinda sad suddenly nowadays. reason i duno y. is it coz i feel caged
up? i seriously wish one day i get the freedom to go out till wadeva time i wan n nt
get questioned. i need to chill. i need to get out of the hse for fresh air. im so tired
of seeing faces everyday. get me a freaking job. life bookshop call me! argh.
i dun wanna stay home anymore. i dun wanna be home to be a slave, i dun wanna
be home to get angry with bro n irritated by dad. im so sick of it.
sumtimes i wish i could see u, but i cant get out. i wish to tok to u online, but u aint
free. i wish to tok to u, but u need slp. i dun wanna be the reason u're stayin awake.
i wish weekends are to be looked forward to. but they arent.

gonna go to sch tmr to collect my ten grad books. seriously i duno how im gonna
carry them but wadeva. i had to. at least i hav cal to let me put sum at his place.
thanks cal. hope u get well soon okies?
i really duno if i could go anywhere else after collecting my books. i wish. can i?
haiz. wadeva. fuck this life i hav.

responsibility responsibility.....when can i hav a life i call my own?

thank god for pain.

oh...hes HOT! heee. check out that abs. lol.

ok lets be serious here. haa. i've been reading a book titled
'where is GOD when it hurts?'. its a really interesting book that elaine
lend me when i was really down. i really think we should thank god for PAIN!.
think im nuts to say that? i tot i was too. but here let me share with u wad i read.

Painless Hell.

"The word leprosy conjures up to exaggerated images stubby fingers, ulcerous
wounds, missing legs, distorted facial features. It is the oldest recorded diseases
n also one of the most feared. Leprosy is indeed cruel, but not in the manner of
most diseases. Primarily, it works like an anesthetic, attacking the pain cells of
hands, feet, nose, ears, and eyes to produce numbness. not so bad, really one
might think. most diseases are feared because of their pain, wad makes a painless
disease so horrible?.....

....dr. brand went to fetch sum supplies frm a little storeroom behind the hosp. he
tried to open the door, but a rusty padlock would not yield. just at that moment, one
of his youngest patients strolled by-an undersized, malnourished ten yr old. brand
liked the boy for his pleasant, cooperative spirit.
"Oh, sahib doctor, let me try," the boy said, and reached for the key. with a quick jerk
of his hand he turned the key in the lock. brand was dumbfounded. how could this
weak youngster, half his size, exert such force?
his eyes caught a telltale clue. was that a drop of blood on the floor? upon examining
the boy's index finger, brand discovered the act of turning the key had gashed it open
to the bone; skin, fat, and joint were all exposed. yet the boy was completely unaware
of it! to him, the sensation of cutting his finger to the bone was no different from that
of picking up a stone or turning a coin in his pocket. after that incident, brand redoubled
his efforts to test his theory abt leprosy being a secondary, not a primary cause of injury....

pain is not an unpleasantness to be avoided at all costs. in a thousand ways large and
small, pain serves us each day, making possible normal life on this planet. if we are healthy,
pain cells alert us when to go to the bathroom, when to change shoes, when to loosen the
grip on a mop handle or rake, when to blink. without pain, we would lead lives of paranoia,
defenseless against unfelt dangers. the only safe environment for a painless person is to
stay in bed all day....but even that produces bedsores."

now will u thank god for pain now? i do...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i miss chelle n rah. sobz. that day at sentosa with them was great.
i miss u two gals alot! chelle, meet up soon okies? rah, u've been missed n i wished
i could see u off. come back soon! which will be end of the yr eh? lols

i've gone thru shit to learn.

i nv meant to provoke anyone. i nv meant to see anyone hurt.
i dun wanna see anyone sad. im nt tryin to mock anyone.

i grew strong. my feelings sorted out. i tot things thru. i've moved on.
yes its a short time but the shit i went thru has taught me alot.

i've learnt alot n im stil learning many things. putting god first before anything
else. i dun wanna go thru wad i went thru anymore.

for others, u might think im stil hurting inside, im juz tryin to cover up the hurt,
but im nt. i noe wad im doin. stop doubting my decision.

lovely night.

well my day started off BORING. haa. plans changed many times.
first was to go sch to return lib book then meet grace go dip show
before meetin him. but in the end, i din go sch as i was too lazy. n grace
oso decided nt to go dip show today. gonna go tmr with grace n rachel
instead. i went hong's hse while she got ready to meet her frens. so i
went for fun la. yeah. then went causeway point to meet mike. hoping
i can cheer him up alittle. but i guess im of no help. sigh.

my night was PURRfect n i love it. totally enjoyed myself.
wad a beautiful night. =)
thank you. heee.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jason mraz - wordplay

I've been all around the world
I've been a new sensation
But it doesn't really matter
In this ge-generation
The sophomore slump is an uphill battle
And someone said that ain't my scene
'Cause they need a new song
Like a new religion
Music for the television
I can't do the long division
Someone do the math
For the record label puts me on the shelf up in the freezer
Gotta find another way to live the life of leisure
So I drop my top,
Mix and I mingle
Is everybody ready for the single and it goes...

Ha La La La La
Now listen closely to the verse I lay
Ha La La La La
It's all about the wordplay
Ha La La La Love
The wonderful thing it does
Because, because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mister A to Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay

When it's time to get ill I got your remedy
For those who don't remember me
Well let me introduce you to my style
I try to keep a jumble in' the lyrics
never mumble
When the music's makin' people tongue-tied
You want a new song
Like a new religion
Music for the television
I can't do the long division
Someone do the math
For the people write me off like I'm a one-hit wonder
Gotta find another way to keep from goin' under
Pull out the stops,
Got your attention
I guess it's time again for me to mention
The wordplay

Ha La La La La
Now listen closely to the verse I lay
Ha La La La La
It's all about the wordplay
Ha La La La Love
The wonderful thing it does
Because, because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mister A to Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay

I built a bridge across the stream of consciousness
That always seems to be a flowin'
But I don't know which way my brain is goin'
Oh the ryhmin' and the timin'
Keeps the melodies inside me
And they're climbin'
'Til I'm running out of air
Are you prepared to take a dive into the deep end of my head
Are you listening to a single word I've said?

Ah La La La La
Listen closely to the words I say
Ah La La La La
I'm stickin' to the wordplay
Ah La La La Love
The wonderful thing it does
Because, because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mister A to Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay

Ha La La La La
I'm all about the wordplay
Ha La La La La
I'm stickin' with the wordplay
Ha La La La Love
I love the wonderful thing it does
Because, because
The ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's are back in love
For the Mister A to Z they say
Is all about the wordplay