sick

i've fallen sick.
vomited twice yday.
seen a doc at 11plus and its proven food poisoning.
:( feeling real weak.
plus having my monthly thingy. juz aint helping.
cold sweating everyday.
my hubby said he miss me lesser than i miss him.
haha...a lil funny. but too sad. hope he has more time for me soon.
love ya darling.

who am i? really....

who am i?
am i really ur so-called gf?
y? y does the guy i loved always put me last?
y is it im nv important to him?
y cant he tell me hes sick?
y must i find out from his fren?
y din he bother informing his GF?
WHO THE FUCK AM I?

my heart is crying. my eyes are red.
i no longer feel loved.
i feel like gf is juz a name.
im tired. im tired of caring, tired of missing, tired of loving.
i juz wish im dead.
y is there no one that ever cared abt me?
where is my place in ur heart?
im wondering.
juz waiting in vain i feel.

missing u

"Darling.. Listen to me.. The longer the wait.. The stronger our hearts will bond together.. We must be patient n cherish this relationship ok.. "

thats wad u told me. does it really work this way?
i feel so hurt, so sad. deep down inside im juz crying everyday n night, praying that u're by my side. it really hurts so bad. pls come back to me soon.
im waiting here for one day u tell me u can meet me, spend time with me.
i dun like to be dissapointed. last week u told me 19th & 20th. but none was fulfilled.
can u hear the cries in my heart?

our life together as one

*pic of me at weizhang's bbq. thats his dog mobey. really cute.

its u i love now. no more turning back.
i've let go of my past n look to our future.
i'll find a place to have our lil lifes together once again.
i love u hubby. =)
i hope u loved me juz as much.
-----
to you,

loving is never easy.
the day u told me u will give up is the day i hated u.
i hate u n i hate her juz as much.
i wish u luck with lil gal.
u told me to nt look back.
i dun wish to anymore.
u've hurt me juz as bad. its fair n square.
let me know when u have told ur family we're over.
i'll do it after.

zouk love

it was a sad week thus i decided to club my ass off...sadly, i gt addicted.
lol. went to zouk for a gd 3 days in a week. am i mad or wad.
but nonetheless, it was great to be there...totally FUN!
now i lost so much slp my dark eye rings are all out. hahaha...
pics are up! so click here to view!
------
MAMBO TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
call me, call me...
baby would u call me NOW....

thank you for the gift

i like this blue dress. cant really decide if i should buy it...
suggestions anyone? it cost $23 including the postage.
the dress is sweet right? bleah...tell me wad u think of it!!!!!
-----
heres a nice song lyrics to end of this entry.
with love,
lil gal.

Title: The Gift

Artist: Collin Raye
(jim brickman)

Winter snow is falling down
Children laughing all around
Lights are turning on like a fairy tale come true
Sittin’ by the fire we made
You’re the answer when I prayed
I would find someone and baby I found you

And all I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I’m thankful everyday
For the gift

Watching as you softly sleep
What I’d give if I could keep
Just this moment if only time stood still
But the colors fade away
And the years will make us gray
But baby in my eyes you’ll still be beautiful

And all I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I’m thankful everyday
For the gift

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I’m thankful everyday
Can’t find the words to say
Thank you for the gift

that pleasant day with u

love is in ur hands.
my darling's been really busy. sadly.
yday was our MS Coslab Semi Finals at M hotel.
was nice but it can be real boring...
i must say it was a great day for me at least.
i was late for work...DUH night before worked till 130am...i almost died.
so ya...i went M hotel straight...reached at 1.
went cafe for a drink with jasson n met the judges (actors & actresses)
it was pretty cool.
after the whole event which ended at 6.
decided to spend some precious time with my hubby.
so i went ikea tamp with him. did furniture shopping.
his whole freaking car was loaded with furniture. haha...funny.
after tt we went over to giant to buy more stuffs. n he met ernie there.
din expect him to tell ernie i was with him...but im glad he said. =)
loaded the car with more things n he send me to elaine's place which i was super late
for deb's party n he went home.

left elaine's at 11plus n i headed clarke quay for tea alone while waitin for cayman to pick me up.
i sat there at coffee club alone for a gd hour.
suddenly the waiter came with a new pot of tea. the shocked me told him i din order.
so apparently, this guy from 4 tables away bought for me.
nv in my life such things happened. but thanks anyway.
so i decided to leave after i finished my drink.
asked for bill, to my surprise both pots were paid.

my night ended with a pleasant night view at mt faber. =)
wad a pleasant day.
------
perhaps that lil gal is juz wad u need.
a childish gal to ease the kid in u.
i guess i cant tell u to grow up no more.
but get a life & know wad u wanna do.
she will grow up one day...
n when that day comes i pray hard for u she can stand the u that duno wad u wan in life.

im suicidal

suicidal tots fills my mind. i wish i was dead.
self inflicted pain sumtimes does release the pain inside.
-the cuts dun hurt.
-panadols are for pain relive. pop as much as u can n u die.
i cant help but wish im dead.