is it wrong of me to hav feelings n be human to cry n to miss sumone? y do u make it sound like im so fuckin wrong? im nt living in self pity. but this is juz how i fuckin react to things. i cry, i lose my fuckin appetite, i wanna kill myself. im stupid n dumb n a fuckin bitch that deserve to be better of dead. i can cry so i should fucking be happy abt it...i should fucking be able to cry n move on...while u can go on saying u cannot cry even if u wan to. yes im plain lucky n so god damn emotional that i can cry n cry n cry n cry. so i should juz jump for joy that i can cry....YAY! im happy i can cry! im happy! so wad if i stop myself huh? does it mean that i move on...fuck no! if its so god damn easy to let go of sumone u love so much then in the first place i dun think its love. imagine losing ur wife. can u juz cry once n say u move on? hell no! y does everyone make things sound so fucking easy?
can no one see that im tryin? can no one tell how much i wish nth ever happened? y r u making things harder for me? sumtimes i go to u so that u can juz fucking cheer me up so that i can stop thinkin...n nt get scolded by u!
i am the most pitiful gal in the whole fuckin god damn world. u get tt...happy now?
im living in a black n white world...in a cage of my own. where only my presence is felt. all alone without u. click here for album. went sentosa with sheryl on sat again...stayed there frm 1-6pm. suntanning!! after tt we went musical fountain. haha...was a fun night. after which i went chinatown to meet the sec sch gang...n cabbed home.
i miss the sun, sand n sea already...think i should live there.
i really love this babe! heee...click 'BABE' for album.
i juz finish my report n handed it up todaY!!!! im so so so deprived of my beloved sleep. tired yet cannot slp. interesting eh...insomnia.. how weird. im doin sth that im suffering frm.. my day has been pretty much ok today..no emo night..gd. heh. after handing in, i felt like a weight has been taken off..feels gd. so off i went to pamper myself with sum shopping...i spend like 30 over bucks!!! earn the money by being a maid for sumone...clean up his room...crazy shit. but oh well im paid. who cares...so yes i hav money to spend...but i wanna save...heee...no more spending like crazy...control!!! haa...im so glad ning controlled me today. haha...if nt, i'll probably buy the whole chinatown. im freaking tired right now...(like finally). so im goin to bed. gdnite all...
all alone in the late hours of the night all i think abt is u images of u cloud my mind i stared at ur photo touching ur face wishin i could feel u in my arms now i miss u so much.
wad am i to do without u in my life? who am i without u? --- GLENN MEDEIROS - NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU
If I had to live my life without you near me The days would all be empty The nights would seem so long With you I see forever oh so clearly I might have been in love before But it never felt this strong Our dreams are young and we both know They'll take us where we want to go Hold me now Touch me nowa I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you One thing you can be sure of I'll never ask for more than your love Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you The world may change my whole life through But nothing’s gonna change my love for you
If the road ahead is not so easy Our love will lead the way for us Like a guiding star I'll be there for you if you should need me You don't have to change a thing I love you just the way you are So come with me and share the view I'll help you see forever too Hold me now Touch me now I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you One thing you can be sure of I'll never ask for more than your love Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you The world may change my whole life through But nothing’s gonna change my love for you Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you One thing you can be sure of I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you One thing you can be sure of I'll never ask for more than your love Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you The world may change my whole life through But nothing’s gonna change my love for you Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you One thing you can be sure of I'll never ask for more than your love
my darlin, no matter how much i dun wish to see u suffer, u stepped into my footsteps..u gt into the same shit as i am in..u felt the same way i felt. u cried as bad as i did. did we both fall in love with the wrong guy or is it that we both are willing to wait for this perfect guy we love so much? i totally understand how u feel exactly...n juz how exactly perfect r they? i can only be there for u...listen to u...lend u my shoulders to cry on... acc u to shop n occupy ur mind....tts wad i needed then but i din hav. i love u my dearest...u're stronger than me. better off than me. at least he is willing to tok to u as a fren without that coldness. i noe you'll wait for him juz as im waiting for him. but yet i noe how painful it can get. i duno to stop u frm being in the same position as me. or let u be. coz i noe...loving him so much n telling u nt to wait is like telling u to let go of a gem now. to move on...its really easier said than done. *hugssss...i'll always be here for u darling...always... smile for me. :)
honestly im sick n tired of my crazy slping habits...i wish i can do sth abt it. sum ppl tell me to juz lie down on my bed n close my eyes... but then i dun wish to be lyin down n start thinkin too much. i dun wan tears running down my cheeks. heres a lil sth frm me: a tear in my eye a wish in my mind a tinkle in my stomach a hole in my heart
a joy, a love, a smile u brought it all to me i love u love u always ------ "if i lay here, if i juz laid here would u lie with me n juz forget the world?"
ok...im juz being silly..haha..im online n very much awake at this time of the night..munching on Loackers chocolate waffles biscuits...YUM! im deciding between....red wine or chocolate milk? wads ur take? haha... (shawn juz said milk...okies...milk it shall be)
im bored...juz did alot of research...depression, insomnia, cancer, medicines...i need a rest! haa..so im high n blogging now...i feel like watching a vcd...korean show! best is tt its funny. i need a gd laugh...'just my luck' is pretty funny...haha... *yawn* lifes getting boring...find me sth interesting to do.. y do i hav cravings for mee POK!? n roti cake? my gdness....im goin crazy over cheap food...lol...i wanna eat mai ya tang! haha.
anyways, i've been goin out n taking lotsa random photos the past few days...since monday...the day i gt my hands on canon powershot A620...7.1 mega pixel cam! OMG! i love it! havin lotsa fun playin ard with it...haha...the pic of my Loackers is taken by it too. i realise i cannot live without a cam now...i practically take photos of anything everyday! sumtimes interesting...sumtimes juz normal pics. oh n nt forgetting cam whoring! haaa... click here to view!
im so thankful for her...my darling chelle. shes really the best.. she was there for me when i needed her most. she made me smile. she hugged me tight n told me its alright...love her to bits... that very day i send him off..the moment he turned n left. my eyes filled up with tears. i should hav expected it...i cried like mad. im really happy chelle came...we shared abt things n slowly i stop cryin...then we went simpang bedok for supper...chelle psychoed kenny along...haa..so yeah three of us juz eat n chat... i reach home at 1am...couldnt slp as usual... the very next day i was practically lookin at my watch the whole day...went out with chelle again to acc her to simlim...asked justin along so that he could help out a lil...after tt...chelle went home while me n justin went for sushi buffet...
i stil very much miss him alot...haven tok to him yet since the night he arrived at new castle...each day each min...im juz praying for him. i miss him...i guess hes enjoying life there now...muz be beautiful... i wish i could be there too. oh well. the life of a western country is always better than spore...i wanna leave spore! get me out!!!! i heard u're in a caravan now...sounds so fun...the life i always wish for.. with u.
suddenly i feel like i should juz be a les...loving guy hurts...they tell u they love u so much...but in the end...they were the one that hurt u so bad. n leave u there to die n bleed alone. right chelle?
When you've prayed every prayer that you know how to pray Just remember the Lord will hear And the answer is on it's way
Our God is able, He is mighty He is faithful
He never sleeps. He never slumbers He never tires of hearing our prayer When we are weak, He becomes stronger So rest in His love and cast all of your cares on Him
Do you feel that the Lord has forgotten your needs Just remember that God is working in ways you cannot see
Our God is able, He is mighty He is faithful
He never sleeps. He never slumbers He never tires of hearing our prayer When we are weak, He becomes stronger So rest in His love and cast all of your cares on Him
don moen - he never sleeps. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- today is national day..but its a sad national day for me. i miss him even before today. i cried the weeks before today. as im typing this..im tearing. i wish...i wish im back with u. but no im nt. im stil here waiting. i noe i hav to let go. u're leaving today. its juz a month everyone tells me. but a month to me seems like a yr or more. even if u're in spore i cant meet u. i guess i dun mean so much anymore. u seems free to meet others but juz nt me. dun u ever wish to see me before u go? mayb not. i begged my mum to let me send u off. theres so much i wld do juz to see u. n tts all i could do too. i can only do so much. i can only say it in my heart that i love u n i miss u. i love u so much that i wish time could freeze. i love u. i love u n i love u. i wish i can say it later...i dun think my mouth wld even dare to say a thing. all my emotions r piling up inside! i feel like im juz gonna burst now!
the above is written on wed before i left my hse to meet him...i was juz too lazy to write more...so it shall be posted as wad it is...lol. till im less lazy...i'll say more...bye!
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love. Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high I don't want to let go, girl. I just need you to know girl.
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight, No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love. Everytime you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high I don't want to let go, girl. I just need you you to know girl.
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight, No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
I don't want to run away, I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time.. No promises
I don't wanna run away, I don't wanna be alone No Promises Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love
No promises
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight, No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight, No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms Here tonight. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i juz finish watchin memoirs of the geisha...i wld say...the book is alot better...none the less, it reminds me that sumtimes u live a life where u can nv get the true love. oh mayb even, u may meet so many others that u dun love...but u be with them.... only to end up with that one true love.
but im beginning to wonder wad is love? wad am i worth? y love me? i feel so little to all. i feel like i dun deserve any love. y love a rubbish that sumone else dumped? am i really worth it? am i worth that love u say u're willing to give? am i worth the care that u show?
do u wish that u can control ur life by juz a remote control? sumtimes i wish i can. i wish i can fast forward the heart breaks... or better stil...rewind my life to where i wan n do things differently. but life's like tt...u cant rewind nor fast forward. u hav to go thru wad u hav to...u hav to go thru wadeva shit that is to come. at this very moment, i wish i could rewind my life where i stil hav him. pause there...n nv get out of those moments. sumtimes loving sumone is so hard. u always get ur heart terribly broken by the one u love truly. sumtimes i question....WHY? why muz ppl make love so hard? why cant love be simple. y muz ppl complicate that simple word LOVE!? if only i can fast forward n see my future. if only i can fast forward n the very next moment my fyp is done. no worries...no sadness...
but of coz....in the midst of all the fast forwardings...u definitely might hav miss out the life's small lil happiness... but i wonder...in life, is happiness more than sadness. or the other way round. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't Call Me Baby Lyrics by Madison Avenue
[Verse 1] You and me, we have an opportunity And we could make it something really cool But you, you think I'm not that kind of girl I'm here to tell you baby, I know how to rock your world
[Bridge]
Don't think that I'm not strong I'm the one to take you on Don't underestimate me boy I'll make you sorry you were born You don't know me The way you really should You sure misunderstood
[Chorus]
Dont' call me baby You got some nerve, and baby that'll never do You know I don't belong t o you It's time you knew I'm not your baby I belong to me, so Don't call me baby
[Verse 2]
Behind my smile is my IQ I must admit, this does not sit, with the likes of you You're really sweet Mmm, you're really nice But didn't mama ever tell you not to play with fire? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "dun do wad u dun wan others to do to u..." u'll hav a taste of ur own medicine....
when i sit down n let my mind go blank, i realise how small i am in the world of you. i see me, the tiny me in your eyes. i see that I, i am juz a passerby.
i open my eyes. awake frm the dream i had. im all alone in my room. i stared into the ceiling. i begin to wonder.
i was hoping. i was dreaming. i was wishing. i was anticipating. grant me my wish lord. my silly small wish.
that silly small wish means the world to me.
a hole in my heart i felt. heal it. stuff it up with cotton wool. stop it frm bleeding.
i miss u i say. i love u i know. i miss u. i love u. these r the words i wish to say to u. to u, that man i loved. n stil do deeply inside.
i stared into the sky wondering y im stil alive again. i wish im gone to the little paradise of my dream. i wish to meet mr star where he can show me the beautiful earth frm up above. the earth where its so tiny that i cant see the pain n sufferings of each human. but all i see is beautiful lights n houses. i wanna fly, fly far away. i wanna hav wings to fly freely. take me away frm the pain im in. free me frm this messy world.
