shitty night.

sumone tell me y be online? bf online but too busy doin his own things
to even tok to u. the only thing perhaps u will hear is ' i wanna slp le'.
nothing else.
life at home is stil the same. SUCKY. i seriously hate home to the core.
who can hate home so much that she cant wait to get out of home.
no one more than me. honestly i rather stay under a bridge be poor.
then havin to come home to no peace.

long waited entry.

you've probably realised that i've been really lazy the past few days to blog.
mayb even i gt nothing to blog abt.
dun even ask me how christmas was for me. i wun answer.
well, lets juz tok abt yday. i had a great time hanging out with my bestie, may.
shes really my best n nicest fren. =) love tt alien she gave me n named it 'milmay'.
haha. yes i promise to take gd care of it. hope u like eeeyore! haha.
finally i gt my birthday present. haha. its been months. heh.
u owe me a hug for christmas gal. n i want the photo we took in ur phone!
sorry we end up nt taking any with cam. oops. haaa

Narnia is a great movie.
i enjoyed it.
should catch it while u stil can guys! heee.
alcohol is gd too.
i love alcohol.
vodka is nice.

me it is.

Brown
You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood,
rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical
person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive
mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver.
And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed
decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge
your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game,
or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which
means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily
and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really
are a brown at heart.


Mildred, your Sense of Style makes you a real beauty
You don't need a catwalk to strut your stuff. A cool and confident fashionista
like you knows how to look fabulous wherever you go. You've got a good eye for
what's hot and what looks good on you. And you're comfortable with who you are
and what you want out of life.

Sure, you like to look great, but that doesn't mean you follow fads or listen to what
other people say is right for you. You're an individual, and you make sure that
comes through in everything you do, whether you're at the office, on a date, or
out on the town. You can't go wrong when you're being true to yourself.
That never goes out of style!


Mildred, when you see your honey, it's Long-Term Love
Pass the bouquet of roses and the book of Shakespeare's sonnets — you're head
over heels in love! You're on the road to finding your soul mate; folks who merely
get your nether regions in a tizzy need not apply. Physical passion has its place,
of course, and you wouldn't want to go without it. But you go into relationships
with one goal in mind: true love. And, from the looks of your answers, you seem
to have found the deep connection you're looking for.

It sounds like your sweetie could be "the one" (or, if not, at least one of "the ones").
The two of you share a lot more than "Wham, bam, thank you, Ma'am" — which means
you just might have a future together. As long as you've got a little lust mixed in with
the love (c'mon, it is nice to feel that flutter when your honey is near, isn't it?), that's
great news. Congratulations, and don't forget to send us a wedding invitation.

no such thing as enough

will anyone really be contented with wad they have? if u say yes,
i most slightly wun believe u. or if nt i wil juz think u're such a bum to
strive for more.
is it gd or bad to be easily contented? will u learn to be contented
despite seeing how fortunate u are in this world?
i cant teach u to be contented but theres one thing i can do
for u...it's to allow u to find out ur own contentment...
i duno wad exactly gave me this idea to come out with a book
abt contentment for my major proj. one lecturer think its cool,
sth no one is doin. interesting topic. im glad abt tt...but i told her
its oso VERY challenging to do.

god help me. =(

christmas is near...

my life is but a life tt is being controlled by sumone...a life nt my
own. even a caged bird get it's freedom to fly ard n come back..
but nt me. im but a human living in a cage...every movement,
every action is observed. nothing i can do is of my own decision.
sum ppl may understand wad im tokin abt n who im refering to.
i juz tired of my life. only time im really n truly happy is when
my time with dar. the only time i feel save. when no one will shout,
scold, or beat me. the only time sumone will be there to encourage
me. no where else can i find such comfort. no where is comfort
but in the arms of my darling. i dun understand the meaning of
LIFE. for i almost see none...
christmas is juz ard the corner. i stil dun feel the spirit of christmas.
i only feel the spirit of stress. beginning of feb external examiners will
be here. therefore, i hav to finish my proj mayb by jan. im so tired
and so drained. i juz feel like im falling apart. next thurs will be my
critic...i hav to present 6 weeks worth of work done. i hav only one week
mayb.
enough of sad stuffs. well, 23rd dec my family n my cousins family will
be celebrating christmas. having a mini party with juz two of our families.
im in charge of desserts. i guess im making jelly..red n green jellies.
my cousin said 'use ur creativity.' i told her sounds like playing with food.
any ideas how i can make the dessert more christmas?? i duno wad im tokin
abt...bah..

i cant contain it anymore

i feel the rush of blood to my head whenever i start thinkin abt fyp.
my brains cant contain much more. the pain n stress n fear seems
to control my life. i wanna go to a beach n scream all my troubles
out...i wanna relax my mind. i need a break desperately...i feel like
im breakin down too often. its like falling into depression. i cant get
my mind to think. i cant seems to hav ideas nor inspirations.
blank...a white piece of paper n stil remain untouched. time is
passing by each day...yet another wasted day. slpless nights.
how long more can i take all this...y cant i hav brains tt can think
at a moment like this. y cant i get inspirations. i dun care where...
i juz need ideas!
tears flows as i speak. sorrow remains deep down. fear contained inside,
haunting me like a ghost. cry out loud i prayed for help. but nothing
came. still a piece of white paper.

missing baby badly.

you are some kind of wonderful.
you're wonderful.
you are.
you're everything to me.
you are some kind of wonderful.
you're wonderful.
you are.
you're everything to me.
cute song frm hi5 which the lyrics truly says how much my darling mean to me.

the past few days has been alright. other than my bad running nose
n body aches. mayb i hurt a nerve on my neck..its painful. i've spend most
of my time this few days with my family. been a long while since we went out
together.
wed we went for lunch nearby n took a walk together back home. stopping
by playgrounds coz my bro loves playin. haha..daddy n i play hop scotch together
and i lost to him. haha. mummy says he cheated coz he was walking nt
hopping. haa...found out tt the garden downstairs have equipments for public
to do exercises to train our muscles. haha...
thurs i skipped sch. went dar's place to do work...since his sis at home. i need
to get sth done badly n my com is retardedly slow..so i need his laptop.
after tt i went meet my best buddy SAM! hee. as i was late, i took cab down.
almost puked in the cab. lousy driver. i was feeling really uncomfortable.
but i gt better after sitting quite long to wait for our food. we had cartel.
poor sam gt abrasion on his gum coz of the hard bread. dinner was nice.
nice chat with him too..been quite some time since me n him had time
alone to chit chat. heh...
today i went out the whole day. woke up at 1, washed up n changed n out
i went with my family for lunch. went to meet granny at LOT1. we told her meet
at the food court. after all of us finish eating, shes stil nt there. n she stayed nearby.
we took turns to go look for her at the MRT station. worse of all, shes nt picking up
her hp. but god answered our prayers. she finally answered. n we found out she
heard IMM!! so cabbed down to meet her. been SO long since i went IMM. great chance
for me to shop there. haha..so DAISO i went. hee. bought lotsa things for gift wrapping.
my favourite. hee. well, i juz came home at ten. haha..shopped really long.
tmr will be out with family again. to go fetch ppl to airport with my bro's godfather's car.
yup. tts all folks. im writing my days so tt when my baby comes back he can read. hee.
ciaoz!

we saw loony toons at IMM! hee. cute. tweety bird looks ugly. oops...
'i tot i saw a putty cat!' haa. i bought a display thing to put my tofus! hee.
mum is surprise i hav so MANY! haha...

things abt me.

If any of the following statements apply to you, mark them out in bold.
Then post.

i have a cell phone.
i have friends that use me.
i am an only child.
i love dangly earrings.
i love cold weather.
i'm obsessed with the computer.
i have shot a gun before.
i can't live without music.
i have no tolerance of ignorant people.
i have ridden on a motorcycle before.
i'll be in this town forever.
i've been to 5 other countries.
i get annoyed easily.
i eventually want kids.
i have neat handwriting.
i have more than a few horrible memories.
i am addicted to chocolate.
i am an atheist.
i love airplane rides.
i love taking pictures.
i hate people who are fake.
i can be mean when i want to.
my parents care about my grades.
one of my best friends is a girl.
i have way too many wallets.
i'm obsessed with lip gloss.
i am easy to talk to.
i would never eat raw fish.
i cry easily.
i hate when people are late.
i procrastinate.
i love winter.
i have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
i love to sleep.
i wish i were smarter
i'm afraid of flying.
i hate drama.
i bite my nails.
i have been on an 8 hour drive.
i never fight with my parents.
i love the beach.
i have never had the chicken pox.
i have gone out in public in my pajamas.
i can't control my emotions.
i have a best friend.
i have moved more than once.
i truly love my friends.
i have (had) braces.
i have never broken a bone.
i hate my computer.
i love girls that play the drums.
i state the obvious.
i'm a happy person.
i love to dance.
i love to sing.
i love cleaning my room.
i tend to get jealous very easily.
i love cute underwear.
i love night better than day.
i don't like to study for tests.
i have been on the phone for over 5 hours.
i am too forgiving.
i have horrible sense of direction.
i miss elementary school.
i'm a daddy's boy/girl.
i love the color pink.
i love to sew.
my eye color changes.
i should see a therapist.
i played on a guys sports team.
i become stressed easily.
i hate/detest liars.
i love the smell of rain.
i love my family.
i hate needles.
i am a perfectionist.
i always wanted to learn to play the drums.
i hate the feeling of failure.
i have friends in other countries.
i know how to cook.
i can be quite selfish.
at times, i still act like a little kid.
i have food allergies.
i love to read.
i wish i were more motivated for school.
i love getting stuff in the mail.
i have problems with letting go of old feelings.
i hate being alone.
i love summer.
i love the weekends.
i love black eyeliner.
i think I'm a looker.
i type with one hand.
i live in a one story house.
i wear make-up.
i have never rode on an underground subway.
i can't swim.
i have bad memories.
i go to church.
i sing in the shower.
i hate cheerleaders.
i usually get what i want.
i have been on stage before.
i love roller coasters.
no one knows the full story of my life.
i am close to my parents.
i don't have a curfew.

crap, lies n BULLSHIT!

quite a joke isnt it?? go out with friends he can get the car...
me leh?? hav gt car...go rent vcds lor...which is near like shit...
go simpang with his friends can get car leh...but go simpang with
me leh?? dun hav sia...
night time dangerous to drive...i see tt its day time now...isnt it?
wad a joke...wad total crap is all this??
when getting licence n i had to rot my ass away myself when he
gt driving lesson, he told me...ren abit la...get licence le he can drive me ard...
i can stay out later den he can send me home...honestly...it nv happened
nt even once...drive me i guess hav if u consider it with parents in the car as
well lor...more like driving the family isnt it?? send me home?? once...oso with
parents in the car....drive alone juz me n him?? twice...once to fetch me frm church
to go back his church to fetch parents...another is rent vcds lor...
i said i wanna go east coast eat since a month ago...hav he ever ask for the car
to go there?? is it nt east?? or is east coast at the west??
i've nv gt a chance to sit in the car with JUZ HIM! but his friends could...
reason being he only eating in the EAST....seriously i wana laugh my ass off....
hav we nt eat in the east before? dun say send me home..i noe its far..nvm...
how bout juz asking for the car to juz go for dinner in the east?? go changi,
go simpang or siglap?? r those places nt IN THE EAST??
i seriously wonder wad bullshit he is giving me...it makes me wonder if its true tt he ask
for the car n his parents dun let him drive at night or is it he himself nv bothered
to ask for the car at all? i cant help but think tt way coz y is it he get the car
so tt he can go out with his friends for dinner but he cant get when he wanna drive
me sumwhere...
those friends of his...u better be fuckin GLAD he can drive u all ard without
his parents! coz his GF NV EVEN GOT A CHANCE! assholes...