to my knight in shining armor

we'll stick together hand in hand!

YAY! two months hav passed since the day we gt together...
*pic taken when we juz gt together... =)
im so glad that i gt u. thank u for being so patient with my
nonsense when im in my terrible mood swings.

i miss those days when we juz knew each other...heee. tokin on
the phone for 2 long hrs. meeting early in the morning for breakfast
at macs...hehe...crazy things we've done.

im gonna miss u alot when u're away! i'll be waiting for u to come back.
i love u darling! *muacks

HAPPY 2ND MONTH ANNIVERSARY BABY~!

silent wind in a troubled mind

god...where r u?
tell me y u brought me to this earth.
tell me wad u wan me to be.
tell me wad is in store for me.
tell me how long do u wan me to be suffering.
god...im tired. im drained.
i see no meaning in life...god help me.

in times of trouble, i run away. i run far far away.
desperately finding sumwhere to hide.
desperately finding a place to be alone.
run away to a place where its juz me, n no one could see the tears in my eyes.
run away to a place where its so peaceful, where theres juz the sound of the
waves n me. i wish i went on a boat...sail away to an island where only i belong.

enjoying the breeze of the wind where its juz u n me.
in ur arms i wanna lie forever, pls dun leave me alone.
i wanna rest in peace staring into ur face n remember how u made me smile.
i love u...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ALY & AJ - Rush

Into your head, into your mind
out of your soul, race through your veins
You can't escape, you can't escape.

Into your life, into your dreams,
Out of the dark, so light again.
You can't explain, you can't explain.

Can You feel it, can you feel it,
Rushin' through your hair,
Rushin' through your head,
Can you feel it, can you feel it,

Don't let nobody tell you, your life is over,
Be every color that you are,
Into the rush now,
You don't have to know how,
Know it all before you'll try.

More than you land spinning around,
Lifting your feet right off the ground,
You can't believe this is happening now.

Can You feel it, can you feel it,
Rushin' through your head,
Rushin' through your head,
Can you feel it, can you feel it,

Don't let nobody tell you, your life is over,
Be every color that you are,
Into the rush now,
You don't have to know how,
Know it all before you'll try.

It takes you to another place, imagine everything you can.
All the colors start to blend,
The system overloads again.

Can You feel it, can you feel it,
Rushin' through your hair,
Rushin' through your head,
Can you feel it, can you feel it,

Don't let nobody tell you, your life is over,
Be every color that you are,
Into the rush now,
You don't have to know how,
Know it all before you'll try.

Don't let nobody tell you,
Don't let nobody tell you,
Don't let nobody tell you your life is over,
Be every color that you are,
Into the rush now,
You don't have to know how,
Know it all before you'll try.

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101 maybes.....

mayb.....mayb...maybesssss! fuck it...maybes juz nv ever happens...
mayb i wish u came after me seeing me so sad when i left.
mayb i wish u were silently walking behind me.
mayb i wish u suddenly appear behind n hugged me when i cried so bad.
mayb i wish u were there with me to see the stars in the sky.
mayb i wish im an angel.
mayb i wish i could fly to heaven.
mayb i wish i was dead.

hell lots of MAYBES. but none fulfilled...

the sky was filled with bright shining stars tonight...y does my night seems so
grey. y do i see lighting in that beautiful sky of the night.

i dun hate u...i hate myself. juz leave me will u? juz LEAVE ME...its better off
that way.

MY FUCKED UP LIFE!

how asian r u?

[x] You take your shoes off before entering the house
[x] You eat rice often.
[x] You use chopsticks.
[x] You can speak an asian language.
[x] Your parents want good grades from you.
[ ] Your parents insist you don't date until college.
[ ] Your parents want you to go to Berkeley or
some other good university like that. Stanford or
Harvard, even better.
[ ] Your parents believe in Feng Shui.
[ ] You listen to those horoscopes/zodiac signs.
[x] Your parents love to gossip with the other
parents about you.
[ ] You have relatives other than your immediate family living with you
.
[x]Most or all of your friends are asian.
[ ] You don't even know 10 people who aren't asian.
[x]Your ancestors came from Asia.
[x] You are obsessed with the computer and can't get enough.
[ ] You know how to put a computer together.
[x] You listen to asian music.
[x] You can actually understand the lyrics.
[x] You have to keep things from your parents, even if they're not bad,
because you know they'd think it's bad.
[ ] Your relatives love to bring you clothes that are
bright in color with cute cartoons on them. If you're
lucky, it might even have english words on them
that don't make sense.
[x] You love your ethnic food.
[x] You have taken/still take piano and/or violin.
[ ] Classical music is the best music ever, next to
asian music.
[x] You are good at math

Multiply by 4
The product means you are 60% Asian

errrrrr...oookkaysss.
*quiz taken frm dawn's blog

the whole world did u wrong

my world is turning upside down..its goin crazy..its driving me to my wall.
bangin my head against it till it bleeds...beating myself up till it hurts.
cryin till my eyes pop out...i've had enough...i feel so tired so stressed up..
i haven had a gd slp...suffering frm terrible insomia...im drained.
headache is killing me...my mind is filled of ways to run away.

i juz wanna kill myself sumtimes..yes i noe..suicidal tots...im sorry i cant help it.
they hav me to be their punching bags...but who do i hav to be my punching bag?
where can i let out my frustrations? i definitely dun wish to let it out at sumone else
coz i noe how it feels like to be made a punching bag..all i can do is use myself as one
or things ard me like the wall !! self torture..

i need a gd slp...god pls grant me a gd night slp...im so tired.

rest in peace....signing off.

i cant WAIT!

my long awaited day is finally arriving in another 12 hrs! i cant wait!
finally can see my darling...i miss him so much! if only i can hug him real
tight when i see him! hehe...run towards him n jump onto him n hug him
real tight! damnit..so drama! hahaha...

anyway, imodels called this afternoon telling me they looking for new faces
for TVC ads...ask me go for interview..wonder if i wanna go..lol! stil deciding.
might nt go...i duno. if im THAT bored i'll go...loL! since its in town i wun mind..
juz for entertainment sake n kill time...haha..

lets tok abt my day!
suppose to meet thiam yi at the int at 1230 but it seems like both of us woke up
n went back to slp waking up late...lol. end up we took the same 912..n i tot i was
late! hahaha...took 168 to tamp with him...i was rotting in sch...rot in the lib then
canteen..tracy ended class late, davier was at home doin sth, may was late! so i rot!
met joyce to get my earrings then may came n pick me up at 4...security guard
muz be wondering y the hell this gal drove into TP in uniform! lol!
anyway, we met n went TM to eat our lunch at tekkpanyaki..YUM! been awhile
since i ate that...delicious...darling called me when i was eating, n of coz may cant help
but make her presence known! hahahahahaha....

after that, i followed may to her workplace then walk to take bus home... =)
i finally bought a ring i wanted for so long! hee...rose ring..gt myself a purple rose..
all thanks to my dearie who spotted it! thankie you may! hehe...

my beautiful ring! lol!
*click on it to see the rest of the pics for the day!

im so excited! gdness..sumone calm me down pls..thank u! hahaha...
i miss darling! i wanna hug him! lol! im nuts..YAY!
last but nt least, i need slp! lalallalaa....

i'll be loving u always

i haven been blogging abt wads goin on in my life lately...
been busking in my darling's love too much. haha...i miss him...*pout*
lets see. where should i start?

*click on the pic above for the whole album.
sat: met dearie may at scotts for lunch at pasta mania. then we went shopping
at far east. crazy gal needed to shop badly...she need heels, earrings, top n get a
prezzie for her fren. heh..shopping spree we went! she gt everything she wanted
other than heels...lol...i've decided to get back to far east one day to get the rose
ring i really liked...hehe...was late for prac coz of my silly gal. had lotsa fun.
n i really miss her so much la...those were the days we were so carefree n could
hang out together as n when we liked. busy lifes we hav now that makes it
so hard to meet up..anyway, it was a day well spent... =) hugsss!

after prac, had mother's day dinner with por por n the everyone in my big whole
mum's side family at reen thai in suntec...dad, karen n marvin werent there...
sumhow i miss gong gong's presence...sigh. mayb one day i will go mandai cemetry
n see gong gong.

sun: was really moody in the mornin. din get any better until i forced myself to smile
after service. played wth zach n gabriel during service...kids really brightens up one's
day...esp when they smile at u. =)

went for lunch with charl, ty, marv n wayne...wanted eat north indian food where we
can pay wadeva amount we want...but it was too damn crowded with indians so we din go..
ate at a coffeeshop downstairs. then we went to check out SAC for a place to hold our
concert in july..exciting! we decided on the outdoor space n oso gt a back up plan if it rains...
i can visualise the crowd at the outdoor space! damn im excited...heee...gonna do the
publicity stuffs for the concert. cant wait.

after tt, we went TCC at millenia to chill n chit chat..been awhile since im out with them.
chilled for for hrs...then ty n charl went for their dinner at orchard hotel, wayne went home...
so its left with juz me n marv..i call it cousin bonding...haaa. been long since i had a nice chat
with my best kor kor..toked abt lotsa things. we went marina sq to walk ard before heading
to esplanade's makan sutra for our dinner, then went check out the band. i din like the band,
neither did marvin. left after the first half n i had my cotton candy AGAIN! hee....we gt really
bored coz had to wait for ty n charl to finish their dinner before heading to simei to meet them.
so marv n i juz went city link then to raffles city, gt too tired walking aimlessly, we went food
court to sit down. nt long after, ty called...so we made our way to simei where ty pick us up at
the station. send charl home then went ty's hse, where marv is stayin over while i waited for
tp to send me home coz he had to send hwee koon home as well. we toked alot abt god's gift,
vision, passion, angels etc etc...

shared with them that i once saw a vision of jesus with a cross behind him, standing with arms
wide open. i rem i saw that when i received christ in sec one. sth i can nv forget abt.

after the LONG LONG talk, finally tp, hwee koon n i left. n home i was...darling called after
bathing n we talked abt many stuffs...which gt me really moody. my mind's in a mess now...
i noe i love him but circumtances coz things bet us to be really hard. sigh.
all i could tell myself was...'trust in god', hes the one that brought us together n im sure
things will work out fine. =)
my dumb dumb, the one i love...i miss u! muacks.

as for today, its stay home day. haha...gonna do housework later. n juz nua at home.
tmr meetin may in tp, helpin her to design sum stuffs which i duno wad YET. then after that,
meet davier to chill sumwhere. =) im thankful for frens like davier, chelle, sarah n may may
that nv fails to be there for me when i needed. thank u my darlings...

poetic...

From the moment
From the moment I looked into your eyes, I knew you were the one,
The one I would spend the rest of my life with, until my time was done.
From the moment I looked into your eyes, I knew you were my soul mate,
The soul mate I waited forever for, but didn't believe in fate.
From the moment I looked into your eyes, I knew my life was about to change,
The change I knew I needed, but always felt my life was in a cage.
From the moment I looked into your eyes, I knew I would be happy forever,
The happiness I have waited so long to have, but didnt believed in happily ever after

the above poem is meant for my darling...the rest on the bottom r juz sum i
think is nice... =)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I called your name
I called the sun and he answered me
I called the moon and she treasured me
I called the stars and they cried for me
When I called your name only silence came back to me.

I called the earth and she befriended me
I called the sky and she watched over me.
I called the seas and they refreshed me.
When I whispered your name only silence came back to me.

I called the wind and he carried me
I called the fire and he lit for me
I called the animals and they sang for me
When I spoke your name only silence came back to me.

I've seen you pass with my very eyes
I've seen you smile and my heart just sighs

Life without you
Alone in hell, I have nowhere to turn
Memories of you, my love you spurn
Unseen forces brought us together
My heart is scarred, broken forever
In my dreams, I feel your touch
My heart is full, never so much
Time heals all wounds, this is a lie
My soul is lost, wanting to die
With broken pieces, I shall carry on
Crying forever with what's left undone

Destiny's path
Love is indeed a destiny
Until I found you I knew not love
you were sent to me from above
Occurring through first sight
The love continues to grow
With each passing day
They blend like green leaves with golden flowers
Into one beautiful and perfect whole

You see, very soon and my life will be over
Darkness has grown within me
And I'll move on to whatever comes.
Destiny has taken place
I'll leave behind all of the memories
That will make a few people smile and my love weep
And I want you to stop
And consider for awhile
What you're doing to yourself and those around you.
This life is but once and it's beautiful

invisible lady

im so tired...so so tired. i really juz wish im gone...
i wanna be invisible...i hate wad im feeling...
god juz take me away! TAKE ME AWAY!

i tried...i cant...im tired...i wanna disappear...
i wanna drink till im drunk...i wanna bury all my misery...
i wanna leave...i wanna be gone forever...i cant take it no more...

suffocate me till death with misery...let me be gone...set me free...

tears...let them be dried...shut them off frm the tap...
swollen eyes i cant stand it anymore...i need to drown myself...

bye earth. im invisible...

loving sumone shouldnt be so painful...

What is Love?
love...wad is love?
is it meant to be painful?
is it meant to hurt?
is it meant to involve tears?

love...wad is love?
is it full of laughters n joy?
is it like paradise?
is it blind?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
im lost...i duno wad to do anymore..
i need to run away...so far away...
i juz wanna be with u...in a place where we belong...
i hate to noe u'll be away. i hate it...
but i hav to accept it...y? y r u always away frm me?
pls stay by my side...
i cant stop my tears frm flowing...i cant stop them...
im sorry.

just for my darling dan..

just for u my love...the one n only sun that will nv set...
the one that brought a smile to my face each time i frown...
i love u, dan!

found a nice poem..juz for u..one day i will write one myself...lol! =)


Winter Moonlight

The snow, so peaceful and serene,
caressed by the soft moonlight,
gave magical feelings to the night.

The soft blue glow,
the lovers' words that then did flow,
their lips closer and closer until,
locked in the throes of a passionate embrace,
he decided to express his feelings,
to keep her safe.

He whispered softly,
his words like music to her ears,
"I Love You,"
and her response the same,
heard like the gentle breeze,
"And I, love you, forever."

That was the night they promised
to be together through everything,
each to care for the other when old and gray
A lovers' pact the most likely to last.

am i turning les? lol

The Multidimensional Scale of Sexuality

According to my answers, it is likely that I identify as
Heterosexual.

Complete set of results

Heterosexual:		5
Heterosexual with some homosexuality:		3
Concurrent bisexual:		1
Sequential bisexual:		1
Asexual:		0
Homosexual:		0
Homosexual with some heterosexuality:		0
Past heterosexual, currently homosexual:		0
Past homosexual, currently heterosexual:		0

Information
The Multidimensional Scale of Sexuality was devised by Larry Kurdek, B. Berkey and T. Perelman-Hall. It is an extension of the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid, recognising that sexual identities can change over time, people can identify with more than one sexual identity, and that asexuality is a valid sexual identity. The Multidimensional Scale of Sexuality was published in the "Journal of Homosexuality" in 1990.

Take the quiz

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 1.14

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		10
Quality Time:		7
Words of Affirmation:		7
Receiving Gifts:		4
Acts of Service:		2

Information
Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

the bus ride...

was in a really bad mood in the morning...din noe where to go...juz din wanna
give a shit to my surroundings...din wanna give a shit abt anyone...i juz wanted
to be alone...

sumtimes i feel so tired...so pissed with sum things...its nt i wanna get angry...
its nt that i wanna go into a bad mood...but i cant help it...i feel unhappy. sad.
stress. but then again...its always easy to cheer me up...its juz how hard u r willing
to try...coz usually once i cool down...n see u..im already okie...

i sat ard my hse downstairs the playground...sitting under the hot sun...i duno y
i din wanna sit in the shade...continue walking towards the end...n went to take a bus...
din wanna get off at the int...so i cont sitting inside nt knowing where it heads to...
n i ended up at the customs.. .

i kinda enjoy the feeling of sitting in a bus n nt knowing where it will head to...
n get down as n when u feel like getting down...haa..

updates......

have been lazy to blog much lately..its nt that theres nth interesting
happening but rather i cant be bothered to write them down...

the past week was rather happening....fri went back to silling for
the alumni gathering at night then sat went sentosa with chelle in the afternoon
then head to church for prac....sun the youths had a bbq at regina's place...
was really fun...took lotsa pics too...

monday was darling's bday...he came n fetch me in the morning to go westmall
to meet up with his fren n the person selling camera...he bought himself a camera...
haa..his bday gift for himself..loL! then....we went lunch with his frens...hang ard...
n went to sumwhere quiet n peaceful to chill in the car. =)

as u can see..im too lazy to go into details. haha..in short...we had a great time...
glad he like his pressie too...

oh ya...pungol end is a great place if u wan sumwhere really really quiet n peaceful...
i hav a new multiply account...juz for photos...haha...

click here!

signing off frm dan's office! bye!