where history comes to live at night

with a mask on my face, tokin to a silly duckie,
im here stil awake n i've gt work tmr.

do u need a gd laugh this yr?
go watch night in the museum!
'hey dumbdumb...wheres my gumgum?'
its a lame n funny show. but minus the storyline.
its silly.

so wads ur new yr resolution?
another yr is almost here! like again...
this yr im too lazy to think abt the past yr.
or rather its been too much to take n i dun wish to rem either.

lets hope its a better yr to come.

whats ur name gal?

What's Your Name Lyrics
artist: Jesse McCartney


Oh, oh, uh, uh, ahh

I turn around your there again
And suddenly your gone
I wanna get to know ya'
But I don't know who you are
Now your the kinda girl
Who makes me start to loose my mind
I wanna get together
But your oh-so-hard to find

I see yah' when I'm at the Starbucks
As your walkin' out the door
I see yah when I'm renting movies
When your leaving the sto-ore
I need an opportunity
to something I wanna ask
I never seem to ever get the chance

Chorus:
What's your name
What's your name
Oh I really wanna know
You got me goin' crazy
And I want you more and more
Oh hey this could be something real
I gotta let you know the way I feel
What's your name
Whats your name
Oh I really wanna know
Cause everytime I get there
But it's right before you go
Oh, hey
If only you could see
I wanna get to know ya'
And to get you knowin' me

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoaaa

I see you at the mall
You hanging out with all your friends
I ready, to make my move
You go before I get the chance
You know you got me trippin'
Thinking bout you day and night
But I can't get to know ya'
If you don't know I'm alive

I see ya' when I'm at the beach
You know your loading up the car
I see you when I'm at the concert
Then the lights go dark
There's something I gotta find out
If I'll ever got the chance
There's only three words I wanna ask (oh)

Chorus:
What's your name
What's your name
Oh I really wanna know
You got me goin' crazy
And I want you more and more
Oh, hey this could be something real
I gotta let you know the way I feel
What's your name
Whats your name
Oh I really wanna know
Cause everytime I get there
But it's right before you go
Oh hey
If only you could see
I wanna get to know ya'
And to get you knowin' me

Oh, oh yea, no, no, no, no

Bridge:
Oh now wait up
Ahhh
Well oh no don't go away now (uh huh)
Too late I missed your name girl (where you goin')
Oh no don't go please
Cuz I'm the one you need yea (hey, hey)
Oh no don't go I got to (where you goin')
Tell you how bad I want ya' (wooo)
All I need is the chance (hey)
I never get the oppurtunity to ask (uh huh)

Chorus:
What's your name
What's your name
Oh I really wanna know
You got me goin' crazy
And I want you more and more
Oh hey this could be something real
I gotta let you know the way I feel
What's your name
Whats your name
Oh I really wanna know (I really wanna know)
Cause everytime I get there
But it's right before you go
Oh hey
If only you could see
I wanna get to know ya'
And to get you knowin' me

What's your name
Oh I really wanna know
You got me goin' crazy (hey, hey)
And I want you more and more
Oh hey this could be something real
I gotta let you know the way I feel
What's your name
Whats your name
Oh I really wanna know
Cause everytime I get there
But it's right before you go
Oh hey
If only you could see
I wanna get to know ya'
And to get you knowin' me

What's your name
What's your name girl
Oh, Oh yeah (wooo) (haha) (wooo)
And that's it
Ladies goodnight

Danger keep out!

i am drained n tired. wadeva it is wadeva it shall be.
maybe ur other frens r right. listen to them.
i am nt worth a shit. thats juz it.
gdnite. go to bed.

i am seriously feeling unwell n yet i've gt to deal with such shit.
like havin a fucking gastric is nt enough. u've juz gt to add on to everything
dun u?
its always the case. im always the one starting everything. so fuck it n forget me.
I AM FUCKING NT WORTH IT!

DANGER KEEP OUT.
DO NOT LOVE ME.
I AM NOT WORTH IT.

lips of an angel

Artist: Hinder
Song: Lips Of An Angel
Album: Extreme Behavior


honey why are you calling me so late
it's kinda hard to talk right now
honey why are you crying is everything okay
i gotta whisper cause i can't be too loud
well, my girl's in the next room
sometimes i wish she was you
i guess we never really moved on
it's really good to hear your voice saying my name
it sounds so sweet
coming from the lips of an angel
hearing those words it makes me weak
and i never wanna say goodbye
but girl you make it hard to be faithful
with the lips of an angel

it's funny that you're calling me tonight
and yes i've dreamt of you too
and does he know you're talking to me
will it start a fight
no i don't think she has a clue
well my girl's in the next room
sometimes i wish she was you
i guess we never really moved on
it's really good to hear your voice saying my name
it sounds so sweet
coming from the lips of an angel
hearing those words it makes me weak
and i never wanna say goodbye
but girl you make it hard to be faithful
with the lips of an angel

it's really good to hear your voice saying my name
it sounds so sweet
coming from the lips of an angel
hearing those words it makes me weak
and i never wanna say goodbye
but girl you make it hard to be faithful
with the lips of an angel
(and i never wanna say goodbye)
but girl you make it so hard to be faithful
with the lips of an angel
honey why are you calling me so late

new new new.

whee! i've gt a new phone! nice?
was deciding bet the pink or the black. n i gt the black.
classy n nice. pink is rather. ah lian. haa..
oh n i gt a new line too! finally a plan. no more prepaid!
three cheers to myself.
*ask for my new hp no if u wan and i've not given to u*

im a satisfied lil gal. theres nothing more to ask for.
i've gt a new phone, new line, ipod nano (my xmas gift frm ben),
chupa chups tshirt (a gift too). wad more can i ask for?
i've gt all the things i always wanted. =)

work's been a drag n its only a month. nt even a month yet actually.
im so tired of working. im draggin myself to work. no longer hav the drive
sumtimes. sigh.
------
do u really love me?

photobooth crazy at work

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.
You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.
above are the results i did for a silly quiz. how true is it? i wonder.

some of u mayb thinking wads up at work for me...
so i've posted some things i've done...
click here

x'mas is almost here!

when will the last kiss be?

"when u're willing to spend alot of time with someone and yet u duno y,
tts when u noe u're in love."

my life's pretty much a routine with no surprises anymore.
sometimes i dun even noe wad day it is...everyday feels the same to me.

i had my off day yday. was really happy n SHIOK la!
like finally im out in orchard when the shops are all stil open n i can shop!
feels gd. yay. work's getting fun as days goes by. though i stil complain
nonstop abt my life is boring. but yea work's fun. learn new things,
serve diff ppl. i meet diff ppl everyday. really interesting to see the ppl frm
diff walks of life. how sum r so niao, sum so friendly, sum juz plain DUMB!
hahaa...yeah...tts juz how my work is. n im starting to love it. =)

to all my frens out there, u're missed.

wad if one day im gone? would u miss me like u said u would? will u feel a lost?

marriage is but a piece of paper to me.

its seriously nt a gd feeling knowing ur best frens are all goin ns soon.
I HATE dec. NS sucks. BLEAH. i'll miss u guys la!

anyway, my life's all abt work now so its boring.
at least today was a TINY WINY bit more fun.
i requested to follow for the photoshoot today. maybe coz i miss photoshoots.
so went to work early, waited for the bride to finish her make up n get changed.
and all r ready to set off. dropped by the couple's hse to get sum stuffs.
then we went botanical gardens then to sentosa. im juz the assistant to help hold things.
and help the bride with her gown. i rather be the model seriously. hahaha....

tts juz for outdoor shoot. after we went back to the shop n get changed n took everything
and head to the studio. me being the silly n clumsy me, scalded myself with hot water frm
my cup noodles. all i could do was cry to myself. it hurts.
anyway, back to the studio...bride actually had quite a few gowns to change but husband
was really tired n grumpy. he was told only 3 gowns. so he showed attitude when the bride
said one more gown. therefore, he gt pissed, gt changed n went home, leaving the poor
bride with us.

theres a big commotion back at the shop at how bad the husband was.
to me, guys can be such jerks sumtimes. marriage is a once in a lifetime thing.
common, be a lil more supportive. shes a gorgerous bride. y is she the only one planning the
whole thing? i dun get it. does the marriage mean nth to the man at all?
this juz aint the only one i saw. most couples, the guys juz dun give a damn much.
sigh.

oh well i should be slping...church n work tmr. im almost drained. should i go bintan with boss
on monday? its my off day! wheeeee! ask me out pls.
i miss all of u!

nette's bday chill out pics. click pic for album.
ppl, send me the pics frm fund raising! marv n dawn!

photobooth....

iphotobooth's fun!
its a saturday yet it doesnt felt like it at all.
early in the morning in the train seeing everyone dressed to go shopping
with their loved ones. im on my way to work. sigh.
n its nt like i had a great time at work today.
photo editing is crazy shit i tell u.
its damn hard la. esp when the guy has HUGE pores n double neck n
nose hair sticking out of his stupid big nose. n the gal has one smaller
eye in EVERY pic. gdness.

i need a life of my own.

anyway took off tmr. my very last weekend to hav fun.
i told myself if i dun enjoy myself tmr. i will slap myself.
i swear i need a break. think i've said so since fyp. sigh. but then i've nv had
a break for myself. nv. is being a workaholic a gd or bad thing. sigh.

pissed offffff!!!

i've finally gt a full time job. well im stil on probation for 3 months.
i guess i should be thankful i gt a job i wanted more or less.
n this job requires a great amount of sacrifice i swear!!!
here's gdbye to every weekend i hav frm now.
im gonna miss playing for youth, hangin out with church peeps after service,
meeting up frens on sats n after church....sigh!
wad can be worse with a fucking curfew despite of the stupid working hrs
everyday!?!?!?
working frm 1130 till 930 EVERYDAY! damn her. she stil told me
serve me right for getting such a job! COMMON! its a fucking job for christ
sake. wads ur god damn problem? so am i nt allowed to have a life with a job
like tt? its nt like i LOVE the working hrs so much. but i dun hav a freaking
choice!!!!!
honestly im pissed off. really pisssssseeeedddd!!!! sumone juz understand me can?
damnit. ARGH!
i juz need to rant rant n rant. i HATE THIS HOME. swear. nt much of one anyways.
wadeva.
------
so i guess im nt much worth to be a fren to u huh. nt worth enough for u to ask out anyway.
there u are complaining n ranting abt u being pathetic. n here i am asking u out tonnes of
times n being rejected. i simply gave up with hearing u're busy n wadeva more u can give.
sick n tired sumtimes that i refuse to ask u out anymore. n so i see im nt worth to be ask out
anyway. so thanks. i get ur point. perhaps ur other frens are a thousand times more impt
than i am to u anyway. i am a fren u dun give a damn abt.


here i am stil online at 245am! i should be slping but i cant!!!!!!
work tmr. -_____-"

suddenly i see...y the hell it means so much to me

KT TUNSTALL LYRICS

"Suddenly I See"

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

misery.

happy...shalala...its so nice to be happy.
everybody should be happy.

a smile on my face shows the happiness i felt.
beyond any words can describe.
thanks a million.

life has its ups n downs.
i think i need a balance of them.
too much downs make me miserable.
yet sum things cant be shared.
makes it more miserable.
i miss my frens. i miss u. i miss the happy times.

weekends come quick.

defination of happiness

i need a reason, a reason to stay.
happiness is defined to be ....
hap‧pi‧ness [hap-ee-nis]
–noun
1. the quality or state of being happy.
2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.

question is...am i happy?

sour grape

'theres a hero if u look inside ur heart.
you dun hav to be afraid of wad u are.
theres an answer if u look into ur soul.
....and when the hero comes along'

a tingle of bittersweet tickles.
a sour tinge in thy twinkle.

jealousy.

bidding farewells

i rem a lady once told me.
"never love one that dun love u back"
i chose to love him n gt myself hurt.
stupidity i call it.

comforting words sumtimes juz aint enough to cover the hidden hurt.
think things thru i hav to.
gd byes for now.
i have to let u go.

dearest,
u made me smile. =)
i'm missing u.

love,
shou zhu

the confused mind

i shouldnt be feeling this way.
------
the defination of being anorexia:

"Anorexia is an eating disorder where people starve themselves.
Anorexia usually begins in young people around the onset of puberty.
Individuals suffering from anorexia have extreme weight loss.
Weight loss is usually 15% below the person's normal body weight.
People suffering from anorexia are very skinny but are convinced
that they are overweight (i think im FAT!).
Weight loss is obtained by many ways. Some of the common techniques
used are excessive exercise (hmm i've been thinkin of jogging...very unusual),
intake of laxatives (NO) and not eating (YES).

Anorexics have an intense fear of becoming fat (yes im scared of being fat!).
Their dieting habits develop from this fear. Anorexia mainly affects
adolescent girls (hmmmmm).

People with anorexia continue to think they are overweight even
after they become extremely thin, are very ill or near death. Often
they will develop strange eating habits such as refusing to eat in front
of other people. Sometimes the individuals will prepare big meals for
others while refusing to eat any of it.

The disorder is thought to be most common among people of higher
socioeconomic classes and people involved in activities where thinness
is especially looked upon, such as dancing, theater, and distance running.

SIGNS & SYMPTOMS OF ANOREXIA NERVOSA
* Feeling "fat" or overweight despite dramatic weight loss.
* Preoccupation with weight, food, calories, fat grams, and dieting.
* Refusal to eat certain foods, progressing to restrictions against whole
categories of food.
* Anxiety and intense fear about gaining weight or being "fat".
* Denial of hunger.
* Development of food rituals (i.e. eating foods in certain orders,
rearranging food on a plate).
* Consistent excuses to avoid mealtimes or situations involving food.
* Refusal to maintain body weight at minimally normal weight for height,
body type, age, and activity level.
* Excessive, rigid exercise regimen.
* Withdrawal from usual friends and activities.
* Loss of menstrual periods in girls and women post-puberty.
* Extreme concern with body weight and shape. (EXTREMELY!)

Cibophobia -> The fear of food."

i've gt a big hole in my toe.

i've gt a big HOLE in my TOE!!!!

guys can be real ASSHOLES.
lesbianism stil rules la. yayness to lesbianism!

heck abt the christian rules n wad so ever.

its time to let go. its time. =)
wheee! i feel so free.
-------
work has been quite a joy. but i think i need to work on my lateness...lol
i seriously should stop getting back to slp when i've woken up!
cab fares r killing me! bah.

enough of unearthly hours. lalallalaa

never let go

Bryan Adams - Never Let Go

can ya lay your life down - so a stranger can live
can ya take what ya need - but take less than ya give

could ya close everyday - without the glory and fame
could ya hold ya head high - when no-one knows your name
thats how legends are made - at least thats what they say

we say goodbye - but never let go
we live, we die - cause you cant save every soul
ya gotta take every chance to - show that you're the kinda man who
will never look back - will never look down
and never let go

can ya lose everything - ya ever had planned
can ya sit down again - and play another hand

could ya risk everything - for the chance of being alone
under pressure find the grace - would you come undone
thats how legends are made - at least thats what they say

we say goodbye - but never let go
we live, we die - cause you cant save every soul
ya gotta take every chance to - show that you're the kinda man who
will never look back - will never look down
and never let go - never let go

ya gotta take every chance to - show that you're the kinda man who
will never look back - will never look down
and never let go

we say goodbye - but never let go
we live, we die - cause you cant save every soul
ya gotta take every chance to - show that you're the kinda man who
will never look back - will never look down
and never let go

never look back - never look down, and never let go
-------
(holding juz fingertips)
he says: 'i won't let go'
i replied: 'i noe u won't'
-i took the gloves i was wearing off n down i fell back into the deep sea-

only one can live.
there will come a day when u have to decide who lives.
r u ready to make that decision?

*my guardian angel*

ahHH!

i feel the need to scream my guts out. ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my dull n sad life

i really cant tell u how much i miss u.
how i long to juz see ur face.
how i wish to see ur lovely smile.
i juz wish to hear ur voice.

mayb im wrong mayb.
im drained to the point of giving up.
but everytime i juz cant.

wad i feel is juz my own stupidity.
no one cares. not u.
------
stay beside me n lend me ur broad shoulders to lie on.
i miss ur hugs n gentle touch.
ur sillyness, ur love.
do u feel wad i feel? i wonder n im stil wondering.

open my heart's door

All alone on a nighttrain
Like a stranger on a sinking ship
Will I ever know the secret to your heart

Do you care, am I dreaming
When I reach for you is that burning flame
Just inside of me are we a world apart

Chorus :
I'm so in love, so in love with you
I'm so in love, if you only knew
I'm so in love, I'll never be the same
Cause I'm so in love, I'm so in love with you

Should I dare to entice you
Will a touch of your fingertips, take my heart again
You know it's been so long

Is it wrong how I want you
When it feels so right being close and
Who is to tell me now that all's been said and done

[Chorus]

You, you never understood
And you were gone when our love felt so good
You unchain my heart and set me free
Or tell me that you're gonna be with me
--------
i miss u. juz u. tell me wad to do.

izk's party

izk, the party was a blast. beautiful scenery, the poolside is really a
great place to hold ur party man. definitely sth different!! haha.
love the deco too! umbrellas we can play with...lol. n beach balls! whee.
which i hav both at home haha...hope u had a great time too...!
great job in the planning dear...love love*** :)

lastly, HAPPY BELATED 21st BDAY!!!!!
-this entry is dedicated to my darling izk!-

a night full of fun

went MOS last night. it was a blast. i totally danced till my legs r jelly now.
din really drink much. let the pics do the talking for the night. thanks for the
wonderful night my dears. =)

well in the day i went to sch with teng hong. he came n pick me up at admiralty
at 830. i went lib n he went for a boring apel meeting. haa. i did my work. finally
i finished my hairsalon's namecard designs. now wad im left is to draw out in
the com n im all ready to show lionel.

at abt 1, he finish his meeting n we went labrador park, The Olive to hav our lunch.
it was a deliciously gd lunch. haha. head to vivo to check out the place. i muz say its
very confusing. i think i will get lost inside. haha. but its a beautiful shopping centre.
lotsa nice shops there too. great shopping place.
he drop my off at holland later in the evening n he went back. as for me, i went to
get sth for my gf n head to town to do sum window shopping. stil deciding if i wanna
get a vintage necklace i really like frm far east. met wayne n justin for their dinner.
i was toooooo full to hav dinner. n we went church for cell.
and of coz after church i ran off to MOS. tts all for my lovely n exciting friday! its a
long weekend ahead.

catch a movie soon! okie?

have u ever been in love so bad?

Brandy - Have You Ever? Lyrics

[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
Just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Coz baby I can't sleep


Powered by Castpost
------------
i have.

'the stream of water flows like spring of life'

each grain of rice represents the fullness in life.

suddenly i feel dumb. y the heck did i cut my fav top?
i juz wore it the first time today. n coz of the stupid bag it has alot of
'maomao' so i decided to cut away...but..!!!!!!!!!!!!! i accidentally
cut my top. damn. i really feel stupid.

things has been crappy the past few days.
lost my job. nt that bad a thing i wld say. come n think of it,
i actually think its quite gd. losing this job means having more
chances of gettin a full time job. im no longer goin to be dumb
to stay to my promise to commit myself into this stupid tele
marketer's job n stupidly went to reject an offer for a full time job.
well in any case, the position as a graphic designer is stil there. lol.
so now is juz wait. meanwhile, i shall think of how to let mum noe n
to find more jobs.

ok. im zombified now. only slept for 2 hrs today. gdnite all.

this post is dedicated to my darling gf!

juz for u chelle! love u! enjoy this special day of urs okies?
blessings of joy shall rain unto u today!
*muacks.............

living in a cell

i wish i hear nothing. i wish i could shut off then.
i wish to lock myself in my room with my bro in my hands.
i wish im juz a small kid, worry free, carefree.
juz wad is so painful that i duno how to explain.
an inner child of fear runs to a corner to hide n shiver in fear.
protecting her one n only love frm the evil things hes nt to hear.
hoping he grows up to noe these r things he should nv noe.
i dun wan him listening to all the negative things i hear.
tts all i could do to protect u lil bro. hide in ur room, ur lil corner while i shut ur ears.
innocent as u mayb. nt knowing wad they were saying at all.
i'll listen ur share n translate a funny joke.

as tears run down my cheeks, i tell myself...stay strong stay strong.
-------
Jesse Mccartney - Stupid Things

Just charge it to my account
I hope I haven’t gone over my limit
With interest rates so swift
No need to scream and shout
No doubt if women are from Venus now
I’ll get to them somehow

Chorus:
All I wanna do is please you
Please myself by living my life too
And all the stupid things I do
Have absolutely no reflection on
How I feel about you How I feel a ohh
All the stupid things I do
Have absolutely no reflection on
How I feel about you How I feel about you, yeah

Yes I recall skipping on breakfast to play basketball
And feeling two feet small
Sometimes you read like William Shakes
Your scent is sweet, like Betty Crocker bakes
I’d love to have your cake and eat it too

(Chorus)

All I wanna do is please you
Please myself by living my life too
And all the stupid things I do
Have absolutely no reflection on
How I feel about you How I feel ohh
How I feel about you, yeahhh ohhhh yeahh

life at work.

its my second week working already.
i would say. work has been boring yet fun. haha.
oxymoron? mayb. boring coz all i do is sit n call.
'gd morning. this is ______ calling on behalf of _____......'
yeah whole day i juz sit n call n pretend to be nice on the phone
despite hearing irritating n rude ass. BLEAH!

i cant wait for teng hong to come hav lunch with me soon.
lookin forward to share all my stupid silly experiences here with him.
hahaha...soon he said...yay! he'll find me for lunch soon. feasting time!

meals at work hav been simple tabaoing back to office. coz i enjoy eating
with sheryl n jarnel. so yeah...so far only once we went red star restaurant
to hav dim sum together with cindy...whoa! fantastic meal! haha...
COZ THE BOSS (Kim) wasnt ard! hahahahahahaha...hav been stayin back
in the office to wait for sheryl. sumtimes we go out to run errands, sumtimes dinner.
sumtimes juz GO HOME LA! i love work! whee!

sadly, no more thailand mission trip for me. oh well.
wad to do. suck finger n cry.
so i see i can go NUS on 20 oct to see stir perform! way cool!
would really love to see them on stage. =)
stir has my whole support! way to go guys!

tts all the updates frm me now. meanwhile, i shall suck finger n cry.
there goes my longing for 18oct n a break. ciaoz

today might be the last.

Tell your girlfriend/boyfriend how much they mean to you and how much you love them. You'll never know, this might be the last time..
-----

Chinie is a typical college girl who enjoys life to the fullest. She loves her boyfriend so much and texts him every now and then.

JM is Chinie's boyfriend who works in a call center in Ortigas. He's always busy doing so many
things. He only manage to reply to Chinie's texts when he got off from work.

One time JM receive a message from Chinie: "hi baby! how r u? miss u! call me when u come home k?! tc! lovu!"

JM ignored the message because he always receive the same message whenever it is time for
him to go home from work.

"baby,i miss u already! did u eat yet?! take care when u go home! ill be w8ing 4 ur call.
lovu!"

"baby,where r u?! u're not replying to my msg. well,ill b here w8ing for ur call! lovu!"

JM reaches home and lay on his bed. The last time he knew is tha he's reading Chinie's text.
He was so tired he fall asleep and wasn't able to return Chinie's call. He can still hear his phone
beeps but he's too tired to take a glimpse on the message.

When he woke up the next day, he remember that he needs to call Chinie. He ignored the
messages and dialed Chinie's #. No one's answering in her house. He called up her cellphone and he was surprised that her father answered the call. In his voice you can feel his tears and hear his heart tearing apart.


"JM, why'd you call just now? Chinie's been waiting for you!"

"Dad sorry. I was tired so i fell asleep. I called at home but no one answered. Where are you now?"

"Just wait for us at home"

JM went to Chinie's house and much to his surprised he saw a lot of people inside. The house
were so lighted but you can see the gloom on every person you'll meet there. He was greeted by Chinie's mom on tears. She hug him tight and cried on his shoulders.

"Chinie was waiting for you. She didnt go out with us cause she was waiting for your call. She was killed last night by some robbers who came in here. She's gone JM, she's gone!!"

"Ma,Chinie texted me last night..how could that have happened?!"

JM can't look who's inside the coffin. He can't move and it feels like his whole body is stucked
on the chair his seating. He wanted to cry but it seems that something is blocking his tears to fall down. He turn to his phone and read the messages of Chinie.

"Baby, i'll be waiting for you to call. I wont go out with dad anymore!"

"Baby, i'm scared. I think there's someone downstairs. Pls call me already!"

"Baby, they're here. What if they kill me. Pls call me. Baby where are you? I need you here now.
Pls baby i can hear them come..."

"Baby.... i love you!..."

He wanted to shout and cry so loud. It's true that Chinie is waiting for his call. Up to her last breath she only thinks about him.

He stare at Chinie inside the coffin. Suddenly tears starts flowing down his cheeks. He can't say anything. The only words he uttered...

"My baby, i'm so sorry! I could have known, i could have fight for you! i'm really sorry! I love you so much!"

juz my lil updates

i've been sick for a week now. stil juz as bad. not much improvement.
i finally gave in to seeing a doc this morning. after a close shave frm
dying. lost of breath due to my cough nt to mention my voice too.
this is wad the doc say 'u wun get back ur voice till a week. meanwhile,
tok less, dun sing, dun scream nor shout.'
oh great. i hereby hope n pray hard i get back before a week. haaa.
i cant comment much abt work yet...haven been to work seriously.
monday, first day of work, i had nt much of a voice but i stil made like
80 calls? end of the day? throat hurt much more than ever.
tues, second day of work, i hav like totally no voice! i couldnt tok!
so dun even bother doin any calling at all. i wrap stuffs instead. which
i love doin. haha. i was too damn unwell. i left office at 3pm. wanted to
stay til later but i had a terrible nose bleed that gave everyone a scare.
so yea. i went back.
been on leave frm then on. hopefully by coming mon i'll be well. =)

im weak n frail

fever, sore throat, diarrhoea n cough.
n yet insomnia.
nevertheless, adding on to it all.
i cant eat anything except things that can flow down my throat without
chewing. which is nothing but soup.
nt a bad way to lose weight eh?

mayb i dun wish to get well.
mayb i rather get worst.
mayb i juz wanna be down so that im too weak to think nor move.

im tired. too tired.
take me away lord if u need to.
take me away.

body system crashed.

i've fallen sick.
sore throat causing a pounding headache.
fever causin bodyaches and diarrhoea.
i feel really terrible. yet....
wads the worst that can happen now?
i stil hav my insomnia.

i call it...the forbidden heart

i cant tell u how much this musical means to me. the songs meant so much to me.
esp 'my only chance'. her only chance to get the love she wants. wheres my chance?
its a fantastic musical. music was great. KIT CHAN is really GD! haa...a musical
that kept all still n seated on their seats throughout.

nobody noes me.
nobody sees the dreams in my heart.
nobody noes.
nobody noes.
this is my only chance.
love open my heart.
this is my only chance.
love make me apart of sumone that noes me.

e days alone.
e nights of hell.
i need to feel his gentle touch.
the winter's night need fire.
like temples need a shrine.
like lovers need desire.
i need him.
cant he see.
i need him to be mine.

WOMAN...no longer the weak. they r powerful now. they can rule the world.
the struggles they go thru. who can noe but themselves. they appear
strong, they fight the battles of love, they wipe the tears deep down.
but truely how much they cried inside? the secret kept deep inside.
they wish the man of their lifes r with them to fight with them. but where art thou?
where r u my man? where r u when i needed u?

a wonderful day

fyp is officially over. had my presentation today. was a paranoid freak the whole
morning. i was the first to present. feels scary. yet its a gd thing im first. less
lecturers. when i went in, there was only 4...n when i finish tokin, more came in.
terrence(the lecturer i hated since yr1) he came in. din see my work. he was sumwhere
else. guess he noes I HATE HIM. i was bombarded with many negative comments
for my posters. but at least they r happy with my brochure.
quoted by james na '...i will give u credit for doin sth interesting n different...at least
u nv do sth like AIDS. so common.'
haha. ok...i guess i should say thanks. lillie was goin nonstop abt how expensive ads
cost n how they will NOT approve of mine coz it juz doesnt work. OOOOKK.
i get ur point woman. they had so much to say. im glad i noe insomnia well enough
to shut them up with questions on insomnia n who it affects. lol. i did my research well.
after that they juz went on n on abt how i SHOULD hav done my posters. which of coz
i dun understand wads the point of it. coz its already DONE! its a presentation but it turn
out to be like a crit. haa. nvm. teng hong wasnt ard during my presentation. sad but i made
it thru myself. i din feel demoralised. i felt a sigh of relief that im done with it.

later i waited for all to finish. of coz that includes my dearest shawn. haa. glad his went
well too. had lunch together with him n jenna. then shawn left. jenna n i started tokin
abt sum stuffs. its amazing to noe i wasnt alone to feel the way i did. up till now, i wish
he understood my stand. i wish he gave me time. i wish. but i noe its nt up to me to ask
of him. i guess im stil here waiting for a day hes back by my side. i juz wanna be an angel
watching over him by the side. his lil sunflower always.

after jenna n eugene left, i went to rot in the studio. juz chit chatting on msn. haha..wasnt
feeling well n all. i had diarrhoea since yday. im havin a bad throat n cough. my wisdom
tooth hurts. both bottom ones. i hav a hard time eatin anything. no appetite. knowing it
will go straight down n i will hav to run to the toilet. damnit. i left sch at 4 n head to the airport.
met cal at the bus stop waiting for 27. been a long time i met him. nice chatting for a short while.
at the airport i juz waited n waited n waited till his flight landed. which was at 6? i think so.
saw sultan n belinda. n gt to noe that manson is comin too...n best of all. dan's parents were
there too. parents drove us back to his place. then we head for dinner at perdana. funny
stuffs happened there. haha. he was sharing with us abt his adventures. interesting n funny
at the same time. lol. after tt we all head home. when i was waiting for my bus to go back
home frm ten mile junction i gt an sms frm ben. he told me wad terrence said.

below is the detailed conversation of theirs...frm ben thru msn to me.
b: did you kill anyone as usual? he knew i was refering to you... and said...
t: wasnt too bad... mildred did good... in fact the lecturers were impressed
t: what was she worried about at all? or why?
b: hur hur... :)

ben oso told me that terrence said that i hav good visual skills.
coming frm terrence its NAN DE. i hated this man since yr 1. for his straight forward crit.
n nt of ur work but u. guess im glad to hear the nice comments. but then again. results r
up to ALL of them nt juz him alone. all in all, i had a great day. im truly happy today. nth
more i can ask for. god really answered all my tiny prayers thruout the day. in ways i nv
realised till i think abt it.

i wish sumone share my joy with me. i wish sumone could celebrate with me.
now tt dan's back...its busy time for STIR. heh.

tmr im goin to elaine's. bake stuffs. play with the kids. at night gonna meet anisha. haven
seen her for so long. =)

last but nt least, i need a job asap. i need money. i need sth to do. i dun wanna stay
home n rot this holiday away.
-------
Artist: Bosson
Song: One in a Million

You're one in a million
Oh
Now
You're one in a million
Oh

Sometimes love can hit you every day
Sometimes you can fall for everyone you see
But only one can really make me stay
A sign from the sky
Said to me

[Chorus]
You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover one of the stars above us
You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover one of the stars above us

I've been looking for that special one
And I've been searching for someone to give my love
And when I thought that all the hope was gone
A smile, there you were and I was gone

I always will remember how I felt that day
A feeling indescribable to me
Yeah
I always knew there was an answer for my prayer
And you, you're the one for me

[Chorus x 2]

In the beginning I was cool and everything was possible
They tried to catch me but it was impossible
No one could hurt me it was my game
Until I met you baby and you were the same
And when you didn't want me I wanted you because
The funny thing about it is I liked the show
I like it when its difficult
I like it when its hard
Then you know its worth it
That you found your heart

[Chorus x 2]

You're one in a million
Oh
You're one in a million