...lifeless

i duno y things juz dun seems to be well. family, even bf. feel like my life's all screw up. feel like a total loser in relationship. frens. none. or at least feels like none. im feelin juz like thw weather nowadays. sucky. hate things tt happens to me. all the unhappy things. i stil duno y im born in this kinda family. i really dun. do i deserve such parents?

parents tt treat me like dirt. treat like im nt theirs. like im feelingless. tt everything they do is right. tt they hav authority as parents n we gt no say.

bf? things arent goin right. y we quarrel so often? is it me or him? or mayb both. i duno. yes. sumtimes i really wanna break up. coz im tired. i feel tired. bt i love him too much to bear leavin him. bt i really feel tired of goin thru all this. y cant a couple juz be happy all the time? mayb im afraid. mayb i wan ppl to giv in to me all the time. coz im tired of givin in. scared of givin in too much. bt i noe it takes both hands to clap. nt 1.

i really duno wad to do. i dun wanna go thailand. im regrettin. i dun wan him go malacca. bt i gt no say in tt. hes goin. i cant say no. coz i am too. n longer. i dun wish to bring tt up again. coz i noe i'll be upset all over again. if i say i gt nothing to do without him around. i feel sian. i noe hes goin to say me back. tt im goin longer n hes worse. so im keepin quiet abt it. i dun wanna tok abt it anymore. i dun wanna tok abt anything anymore.

sumtimes i hope i dun exist. i duno y im born. to suffer all this? to suffer in this family? is tt wad im born for? ppl who hav nice parents, gd for u. n stp complainin. coz theres worse. u wun noe wad it feels like.