this is bad. im feeling disgusted by the sight of any food now.
disgusted at the fact that when the food gets into my mouth
i gonna chew them. argh...even my fav food is gross to me. sigh.
ppl ask me to drink milk or milo..but they r oso gross to me...
sumhow the milk is...eeeks...sight of it is disgusting. yet im forced
to eat by my parents. n after forcin food down my throat i juz
wanna puke everything out. today i was force to eat my late late
lunch...ate a tiny bit of rice with soup...juz one mouth n i wanted to
puke already...yet i forced everything down...end up goin toilet to
puke...nice. dinner...dad left more rice n soup for me...but i din noe..
so when mum called n ask me if i wan food...though i say no..i gt
scolded n since she say at least bread..i told her buy waffle with
peanut butter. so i had to eat that n oso drink soup...shhh! i pour
the rice away! sigh...yes so this is my pathetic appetite.
as for my love life? yes it has ended. i stil love him tts for sure.
but i guess great frens we shall be for now. yea dumb dumb?
if the time is right n god allows, the next time if we're together
we better think carefully n nt let history repeat itself. the time
is definitely nt now. i'll be patient n wait n get on with my life being
single but nt available. everyone muz be thinkin y the hell am i so happy.
honestly, im nt. im suffering inside me..but i choose to bury the feelings
i hav so deep for him deep deep inside. i dun wish to cry anymore. no i
dun. i dun wanna be fearful of everything ard me again. i noe if i cry i will
feel that way. n it really sucks. i feel like cryin yet i can only shove that
tot down. i understand now wad he is thinkin...yet i wonder does he stil
loves me in any way deep down under? im nt hoping we get back together
now...no no im not...but i guess i juz wish to noe if in any way he stil loves me.
all i wish now is juz be real close frens with u. nth more. pls dun ever ignore
me.
for now, i'll juz get my walk back on track with god. n leave the rest to god.
theres nth i can do anymore.
last but nt least, i juz wanna say this...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY BABY DUMB DUMB DANIEL!
MY WONDERFUL SUNSHINE. you'll always be in my heart n mind.
wherever u are, whatever u go thru...my heart is with u.
for no one can replace the place u filled in my heart. you're my great bf.
you're my sunshine that nv failed to make me smile.
you're perfect in my eyes no matter how much u dun think u r.
oki...tts it. my last time sayin this till duno when...
i really love u, dan my man.
(i teared as i wrote this to u. for u duno how much u mean to me)
the last pic we took together as a couple.
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