in need of ice..

im stil tryin to cool down after yday. stil nt feelin very much better. now i dun really wanna see my mum. though tok abit to her on the fone today. juz tt she called to tel me things. so yup. i juz reached hme nt very long ago. which im glad i din come hme too early. coz i really dun wish to see her today. i stil need time to cool down. din slp well last nite. was really too pissed off. today was really tired in church. slpt throughout the whole sermon. though i quite like the speaker today bt i cant help it. being the naughty gal today, i din go for worship ministry meetin. coz i din felt like goin. went to for a show with cal. watched wad i wanted to watch so much. the princess diaries 2. was pretty gd. bt like wad marv says its the usual story line for such movies. bt i stil like it very much. enjoyed myself. =)

after that i went to orchard with cal to meet karen n marv. had a drink at one of the cafes in wisma. services sucks, n drink too sweet. bt nvm. cal left to go hme do work after tt. n the rest of us went to holland v for dinner. had thai express. dinner was gd. coz im pretty hungry. we tok abt many things. frm guys to family. n many more. which i wun mention. den we went to tcc to hav a drink n continue tokin. hehe. told them abt wad happen last nite. mayb tts y i gt a little pissed again.

i went over to karen's place to wait for her to fetch me back since she headin hme first to get sum clothes n take the car. she gave me quite a no of clothes. hee. cool. love to hav new clothes. hee. though they arent really so called new. but at least its sth else tt adds on to my wardrobe. hehe. im goin to slp early tonite. kinda tired. nid rest. dun wish to tink of things. many things in my mind.

or btw, i juz took up a job today. a job as in a "job" tt i wun get paid. haha. gonna do a banner n an invitation for the church adults to ask them to come our talent nite in the camp. hee. i dun mind doin it coz i stay hme most of the time. at least i wun be so bored. since parents dun allow me go out much. wadeva. dun wish to mention anything else. oh wells, tatas!!

parents of unbelievable beliefs!

im f***in pissed off here. wad the hell. do parents really think they are so damn great? they hav the power over the whole family? say "go to hell" to that thinkin. i hate my mum to the core!. she fuckin loves to nag, scold, thinks im her fuckin maid, orderin ard. so she thinks she queen. she can do wadeva or say wadeva she thinks. she forever thinks shes right. juz like my dad says. a born selfish woman, big bossy woman too.

so wad i lost the cupboard key. fuck im juz keepin it sayin its lost. gt a problem with tt? since she duno wads privacy den i do it my way!! she loves readin ppl's msgs. excuses of sayin she wanna be sure we dun do wrong things. my fuckin ass ah. shes juz bein nosey as usual. she says we mushy. love you forever blah blah! who the hell tel her to read? did i? so wad? muz she check everything i do! does she fuckin wanna check if i wash myself clean enough??

tells my dad this speaker is very gd muz go. that lady very gd muz go pray. oh ya. wad an actress of the universe! guess wad she juz told her own daughter!?? "NO MONEY! DUN GO YOUTH CAMP!!" wow. wad a nice thing to say huh. nicest among all she ever says man! a big fat ugly actress. mayb she haven dig her ears for too long. or mayb she has short short short term memory. or mayb she juz tryin to put words into my mouth! since when i ever say im nt goin camp? all i said was if comin back on 1st dec frm thailand den i go camp on the 2nd. when bookin tickets to thailand wad i told her was i wil tell lynn i can play for the sun i nt in. she says i say if go thailand i wun go camp. she says i said i wil tell lynn nt to put me to play! wad the hell is that!? n she insist she right abt wad she say that I SAID! so can anyone tel me wad wrong with her?

goin out only once a week with cal is that too much to ask? all i said is i goin out with him on this comin fri. coz he leavin to malaysia on the weekend! is the TOO MUCH?????? she said SO? wah so! SO HER BIG FAT UGLY BRAINS IS DISFUNCTIONIN!! i dare her say she go out only once a week with my dad last time. so wads her problem? when is she goin to hav enough of tying me up! if shes nt I AM VERY SICK OF IT!! ppl my age goes out til late at nite. they hav a life. do i? no. i almost duno anything in the outside world. coz im always hme!!

im sorry for my language. dun mind me. im really very pissed off now. that i juz feel like slappin her. im tired. bye.

my blog's makeover

aint it look great? i juz love it. so beautiful. retro!! hee. all thanks to my precious 1 who help me do all this. im juz bein the ma fan gal sayin change this change tt. hee. thank you baby. =)

im juz like the weather

i totally duno wad to do. feel lost. feel retarded. feel lonely. im juz nt me anymore.

yday is a freakin bad bad day. i totally hate it!! nt enjoyin myself at all. went out with mum, bro n mum's fren. tt stupid naughty boy of mine juz pisses me off. he is juz plain naughty to the core. runnin ard. so izzit my freakin fault tt i beat him real hard? so am i suppose to let him juz snatch my glasses? juz coz hes the youngest? y is everyone freakin pamperin him? i dun rem havin such a gd life when im young. all i rem is tt i gt beaten like i aint human. i get scolded for nothin all the time. scolded coz of bro. i feel like im livin here to let them scold for everything.

dar dar is leavin for malaysia next weekend. im ultimate sian. coz weekend! its the time i spend time with him! bt i cant. i totally duno wad to do. follow YAs, parents or go out alone? i hate all. bt i hav no choice bt to choose. i noe dar wil feel worse when i go off to thailand for 9 days. bt den. i feel tt its different. coz he hav ppl tt he can stil go out with. at least the options are better den mine. i duno. mayb its stil nt gd. i wil miss him when im there too rite? im pretty sure i wun be enjoyin myself there either. with mum? bro? y is my responsibility always so big? I HATE BEIN THE ELDEST!!! HATE IT!!

im tired of thinkin of everything tt juz wun seems to turn out well. i'll stp here.