broken

i've been feeling down since sunday...ever since he book in.
i haven smiled since then...nt even today when i get to see him
for awhile. basically had a big fight with mum yday night.
was so upset tt i was cryin so badly n eyes swell real bad.
smsed dear to tell him how much i wished i could call him n
tok to him. hoping he will comfort me when he wake up
this mornin after seeing it...but i guess i din get wad i wanted.
he din even reply anything abt tt msg. i tried saying tt my eyes
r swollen while on my way to meet him..but stil he kinda juz
ignored it. i was late to go follow his parents go fetch him coz
stupid 168 was movin like a snail. was pretty more upset den i
already was. so my face tells it all when i see him...
when we were at changi general hosp, i juz felt as though i wasnt
needed there..din get to go in to hear wad the doc say. coz his parents
dun wan too many ppl inside..so fine. i stayed outside. basically i juz
feel like im nt needed there at all.
anyway, thurs he gonna go xray. wonders if i should go...its 8am.
sigh...if i go means wakin up real early again. n chances of feeling
nt needed is there again.
i am breakin down..real bad. sumone help me..
i dun wanna giv up on everything. not even him..but i feel like i am.
i do love him..n miss him badly. mayb coz of tt i feel like i cant hold on
anymore.