missing my beloved gong gong.

as some of u may already noe, my grandpa passed away on sat mornin.
the funeral juz ended today. i tink i lost alot of slp the past few days.
i miss gong gong. though i may nt have alot of memories of him as karen
had, but i rem him as sumone who loves this family. he always wanna
fix the things at home himself. hes the only one who rems abt dar
during chinese new yr.
gong grew weaker abt 2 yrs ago if i nv rem wrongly. i rem he was in
ICU for ten days when i was in thailand during my mission trip.
gt an sms that he may die. i was so afraid then that i cant see him for
the last time. but he survive. his health was deteriorating for the past
few months. he juz celebrated his 80th bday two weeks ago. sat mornin,
when i reach n see him lyin on his bed motionless, i cried. i wish that
he wil move n tok to us. but he cant do that anymore. that scene is
stil remaining in my mind. its hard to forget. i wish i hav had more time
to get to know him more.
was lookin at the chinese new yr photos that fenyi developed for us.
lookin at the one that all the grandchildren standin behind him n por por.
i really miss him. juz seein his smile i noe that hes really happy that we're
all there.
now all we can do is miss him. im lookin forward to the day that i go heaven
n wil be able to meet him again.

today as i see the coffin roll into the fire. i was so afraid to see the door shut
so loud with fire flying out. but im glad i cant see all that. (i saw another
relative's cremation n i heard the loud shutting of the fire door) if i did i'll
probably cry even more. even marv cried. everyone cried. tink its
the first time i see marv shed a tear. until now while typin this, im stil cryin.
dar dar is sick. went to meet him at his place. actually wanted to celebrate his
graduation with him since i couldnt attend today but he sick so stayed at his place.
he was so hot when i held his hand. he took his temperature. it was 37.6 i tink.
pretty worried abt him. hope he'll get better tmr. if hes nt den i'll bring him to the doc.

im pretty tired now. tink im off to dreamland to meet dar.