thirsting for air.

mildred is so tired. tired of havin to think.
i hate fyp. i juz wish i had robots to help me.
wish i was cleverer n better in wad im doin.
i juz suck. suddenly i feel like im a loser in all i do.
back in sch days, i suck at my studies.
havin As in maths, doin so damn gd in maths is only
coz i hav a gd tutor. i've lost touch in my fav thing.
painting. after stopping my lessons, i've stop paintin.
honestly, i forgot most of the stuffs.
design is draining me. draining me till i cant breathe anymore.
im so tired. tired tired n tired.

my life, rated

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	5.7
Mind:	5.1
Body:	7.5
Spirit:	6.3
Friends/Family:	3.8
Love:	7.7
Finance:	3.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Your life rating is a score of the sum total of your life, and accounts for how satisfied, successful, balanced, capable, valuable, and happy you are. The quiz attempts to put a number on the summation of all of these things, based on your answers. Your life score leaves room for improvement. You can make changes to improve your trouble areas, and this will bring you greater satisfaction. Focus on your weakest points and set about to change them. Do not delay your happiness and success.

Your mind rating is a score of your mind's clarity, ability, and health. Higher scores indicate an advancement in knowledge, clear and capable thinking, high mental health, and pure thought free of interference. Your mind score is not bad, but could be improved upon. Your mental health is not weak, but you are not achieving full mental clarity and function. Learn how to unclutter your mind. Keep learning, keep improving, continue moving forward.

Your body rating measures your body's health, fitness, and general wellness. A healthy body contributes to a happy life, however many of us are lacking in this area. You have a rather good body score, which is an indication that you take care of yourself. There is room for improvement, however. Please keep doing what works. Eat right, exercise, reduce your stress, treat any illness. Doing these things will help ensure your body will be in good working order for a long time to come.

Your spirit rating seeks to capture in a number that elusive quality which is found in your faith, your attitude, and your philosophy on life. A higher score indicates a greater sense of inner peace and balance. Your spirit score leaves room for improvement. Consider making a concerted effort to redefine your attitudes and focus your beliefs. Boosting your spirit will lead to greater life satisfaction.

Your friends and family rating measures your relationships with those around you, and is based on how large, healthy, and dependable your social network is. Your friends and family score suffers, yet it does not need to be this way. Strengthen your social network by reaffirming old bonds. Seek out new friendships, and they will provide you the reward you need.

Your love rating is a measure of your current romantic situation. Sharing your heart with another person is one of life's most glorious, terrifying, rewarding experiences. Your love score is in good shape, meaning that things are going well. Do all you can to maintain it, and continue to grow and move ahead.

Your finance rating is a score that rates your current financial health and stability. Your financial score indicates some trouble. Raise your score over time by making changes which will lead to greater prosperity in the future. Be sure to live within your means today.

Daniel Powter - Bad Day

Artist: Daniel Powter
Song Title: Bad Day

Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

frm my heart

taken from karen's blog (my cousin)
Dated 5th of Dec 2005

I saw her online today and asked about her nick on MSN: "I'm tired of home" she told me as usual, the hitting and scoldings etc. What happened the nite before was that she went for an impromptu bbq with her frens. Every wed she has dinner out. Told her mum that she'll be back late and ended up at home only at 12am. So i told her, she's just worried and thus began to reprimand her. anyway, it's her fault that she's back late. It's a working day anyway. Here's the best part: since her mum is so riled up, she told her to pack up her room, which is in a big mess cos she dun sleep in there anymore (no air con). She told mil, since she can go out, chit chat till so late, sure got energy left to clean her room. And then her dad came in, hit her on her head (with what i dunno) and told her if she has the capability, leave. no one will miss her. So she packed her room till 5am this morning. Quite a messy room huh? She told me, it did cross her mind to just pack up and leave.

Her mum started saying that she didn't want her to mix with her frens anymore and thinks that her daughter is out to look for another bf after Cal. Basically my aunt hates her sec sch frens. They are the 'bad' company. And since her sch days, she was left out in their grp becos they stop calling her out anymore. Anyway, she can't go out. No wonder she has no frens. and i thought we made our best frens in sec sch. My heart aches when i think of wat she goes thru. True, maybe she is a difficult child. She did give her mum hard times in the past. All becos? All becos my aunt gave a harsh boundary and tried to protect her from bigger mistakes. i dunno, is it something that change as we grow up? is that healthy? is protection helping or destroying?

home is really not home for her. who goes home to quarrels, black faces and silence? She even said, she knows her mum gives her material stuff yet all she hoped for is her mum could be gentler and cared more. who will know all these? who will care actually? i feel so burdened yet there is only so much i can do. I can only push her for her dreams, help her focus on her dreams. for a large part of my growing years, i have to live so that my aunt will not say, "hey make sure she dun follow ur steps" I dun like my aunt, yet becos she is family, a relative we all have to be civil. which aunt of urs goes thru ur bag and room? that's just plain rude.

my mum never gave me much boundaries, is tt why i turned out the way i m? LOL but i m okay right? Of course, somethings in my life are not right!. is tt very bad? is there only so much society can take? before they start berating you with values and conscience? I still respect and love my mum. becos i know she respect and loves me. i asked a fren whether she will raise her child as like this, with boundaries. She said she mite. She said her mum did and she thinks it's best. But of cos, i m not a parent, i still think like a daughter. But even a mother is someone's daughter.

Found this email and felt i have to let it out. There's still more to it but think this is enough, for now. I am not ready to tackle the other issue yet... I hope this person knows how i feel about her. Should you ever feel unloved, pls know that you have me.

im just glad i have a sister to love n dote on me, a brother to give my advices.
they are like my siblings though we're cousins. shared laughers n sorrows together.
keeping secrets for one another. n the first to noe all things. they are ppl i turn to
when i need help. when im desperate for answers. when im lost. they pull me
back to the right track. they make me laugh n be there for me when im down.
i just love them like my bro n sis.
at least when i dun feel loved by my parents or sumtimes even bf, i noe my cousins
stil love me. =)

ok i've been tagged by tracy to list down 5 things i love and 5 things i hate abt my partner.
(could be your Husband/Wife,Boyfriend/Girlfriend or even someone you admire!)

5 things i love abt him:
1. his love for music.
2. sweet, loving, caring, understanding.
3. his beautiful smile.
4. his long eye lashes (i want!)
5. his culinary skills (yummy!)

5 things i hate abt him:
1. his impatienceness. (usually when hes tired)
2. always complainin hes fat when hes nt.
3. when he acts retarded with caleb n paul. (i duno where to hide my face)
4. when he plays cs he usually tok lesser to me. (makes me bored)
5. when he says 'anything'

i have a hard time writing out things i hate abt him. when u love a person,
u tend to love his bad things as well. *smacks head* hee

hmm. im suppose to list 8 ppl to do wad i did above n pass it on to another 8 ppl.
well here goes...
dawn tan, donald, may may, iskandar, marcus, sarah tan (rah), davier, chelle